Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Thank You North Carolina

I knew going into my marriage that it would not be legal the moment we crossed the North Carolina state line. While I wasn't happy about it, I accepted it. I wanted the paper to have to show our children that yes-their mom's are married and yes-their family is secure. It would be great if it was valid here as well, but I know that North Carolina is make steps in the right direction and hopefully in the next few years we will be able to have our license valid here as well.
We have been planning for the past several months not only our wedding, but how we will create a family of our own. Girlfriend has met with a fertility clinic and I've talked with a lawyer. Girlfriend wants to carry a child which works out perfectly for us because it enabled both of us to be legal parents-her biologically and me through a second parent adoption. Until the other day. NC overturned the right for second parent adoptions for same sex parents. Not only did they stop judges from performing them, they have also made all previous adoptions invalid. Do they realize the harm this brings? To know that your mom or dad who has adopted you is no longer your legal guardian, that the court just broke apart and took away their family. Now yes, families will continue to exist and love their children just as they have been, but there is something special about a legal document. The validation and acceptance you pay so much money for just gets taken away by people who cannot truly understand how important it is to you. I contacted the lawyer this morning to find out what we can do, HOW I can have any legal protection for our children. I thought we were making steps forward here in NC, and as soon as they do they turn around and tear families apart, destroying hopes and dreams. I want to be a mom. Thank you North Carolina for taking that away from me because somehow continuing to legalize my little family was going to be a bad thing.

Thursday, December 23, 2010

B man's Beach Trip!

B-man had a great time at the ocean!

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Family Fun Times...

B man and I am in Florida visiting the relatives for a week. He had a great time at the ocean, but is done with traveling. I wish I could post more but this is the first time I've been able to steal a neighbor's internet. Posting will resume after Christmas when I get back to civilization...

Friday, December 10, 2010


I've posted a lot of gay things, I don't think anything can top this: tonight I took holiday portraits...of the dogs...wearing scarves.
B would like for you to notice his hair. He did it himself.
Q dog would like for you to ignore the things that B and L have said. He has been a very good doggie and should get extra presents for being nice to them all the time.
Q and B sitting and being handsome. L will be photoshopped in later (he's scared of the tree because of a traumatic ornament incident in his past that he would like us not to talk about).
Taking pictures is hard work, so we had to lie down.
Wait. There are HOW many more days until presents?!?!?

Thursday, December 9, 2010

School Gossip

The school gossip mill is again going at full speed and guess who it's about...yours truly. That's right, I'm the center of the gossip mill-again. It got to the point where today I sat down with my principal and assistant principal and spelled it out for them. I talked with them individually in their offices and essentially said-Yes the rumors they may/may not have heard are true. Yes, I am getting married in DC for a specific reason. No, I am not changing my name right away and yes I am marrying a woman. I'm marrying Sam*. Short for Samantha. Not Samuel. End of story. I've played the pronoun game for a while and kept this a secret not because I'm ashamed in any way but because you weren't here when I was hired. I didn't want to put my job on the line until I knew it was safe for me to tell you this because legally you have the right to fire me. I didn't want you to hear this from anyone else." Their response after a descent pause where I watched their faces absorb all of this "You're a great teacher. Your job is completely secure and we will keep your privacy. You tell who you want to tell and we will protect you, but from our side it doesn't leave this room." My AP also said, "I heard rumors for a while from people, speculation and questions but it's really not my business. I just care that you know your stuff, which you clearly do. And my neighbors are gay...come to think of it they throw the best parties." My response? "Not surprised. We know how to throw a party." We then got into how I've been working with a group of out gay teachers who are trying to work on diversity training in the middle schools and high schools because we've heard from other teachers that they have no idea how to handle some situations that have come up in and around their schools. My principal and AP thought this was great, especially given the recent events in schools around the country, and said the same thing we have been saying and hearing, "All the diversity training I ever received in school was always about race, language, ethnicity and religion."
I texted Girlfriend after school today and told her. She was SUPER excited but confused as to how it all came up. I told her, "They were going to hear it from others or me. It needed to be me." She's just excited that they are on my side and not going to fire me. DITTO TO THAT!!!!

*Girlfriend's name changed

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Possible Relapse, Moving On

On Sunday I had my first possible relapse. It started with my feet being numb for hours, then the headache came on like a freight train. I even too sleeping pills on Sunday night just so I could lay down and not have tears down my face from the pressure of the pillow. *Note-my doctor has moved to Tennessee and I currently have no neurologist. MAJOR PROBLEM!!!!* We called both the neurology clinic at UNC and Duke but neither could see me until next year. Yes you read correctly. Next. Year. It got so bad on Monday that Girlfriend took me to the emergency room after realizing I had been in pain for 18 hours. At this point I could no longer see straight, my left foot/leg was still numb and I'd give just about anything for the headache to go away. Two hours later they gave me some type of IV concoction that helped my head within the hour but left me completely exhausted and just feeling "weird." I slept the rest of Monday and all of Tuesday and could have very well slept all of today. I'm finally starting to feel like myself (don't tell Girlfriend that my head is starting to hurt again) but I've taken notes of the days/symptoms so that when I do get a new doctor at least I have kept up with what has been going on inside my body.

Thursday, November 25, 2010

Thanksgiving Blows

I have decided that Thanksgiving blows. I know, I know, I was quite excited yesterday and have had a dramatic shift in attitude. I am currently sitting at home by myself (and two dogs, one cat, one turtle) while Girlfriend is off with her family. No, I was not un-invited and no we did not have a fight or anything like that. I am sick. I realized today if you get sick on Thanksgiving not only do you miss all the delicious food that day, but you also miss out on the delicious leftovers you take home. Here are the things that I will be coveting and missing while I am eating soup:

1) Spinach quiche
2) Sweet potatoes (prepared any way-my favorite is with the marshmallows on top)
3) Rutabagas
4) Green beans (not casseroled-that has glutens in it)
5) Pumpkin pie (crustless) with homemade whipped cream
6) Cranberry sauce (jelly can style)
7) Mashed potatoes
8) Butternut squash

I made a decision several hours ago and texted Girlfriend who supports this idea-I will make Thanksgiving dinner throughout the week with several (not all) of the things I am missing today. I've debated making 1-2 things each night and having that, or scale it down to the essentials and have it in one night. I'm also going to invite my neighbors over because he is working and she is home sick too. It blows missing all that deliciousness and I will not tolerate being left out, even if it does require eating on different days.
So to anyone else who may be sick today and missing out, don't be controlled by the day and make your meal when you feel better and can enjoy all the tasty-goodness.

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Inappropriate level of sharing

I'm going to share at an inappropriate level today. This is your warning.

Conversation between Girlfriend and myself late at night in bed.

Me: Sorry about that. However, it was totally your fault.
Girlfriend: HOW was that my fault.
Me: I'm. Not. Left. Handed.
Girlfriend: [crickets] Oh yeah. (laughing) Well, I couldn't wait any longer.

In other unrelated news, Girlfriend is at work today and I am baking gluten free spinach quiche and chocolate chip cookies to bring to Grandpa's house tomorrow. Fun times in the country with the future in-laws! Happy Thanksgiving everyone :-)

Thursday, November 18, 2010

A cookie and a dream

It started with a cookie. Not just any cookie. A flaky, tender, melt in your mouth and leave crumbs everywhere kind of cookie. As you probably remember from the other day's baking disaster that gluten free can be way too challenging and way too overwhelming sometimes. Nevertheless I was DETERMINED to make strudel, but first I shifted my sights to something a little different, a little out of the ordinary, a little delight called rugelach. It's a regional thing so it may be unfamiliar to you depending on where you live. They were some awesome that Girlfriend ate 2 of the 18 the batch made right that night and there were none left in the morning for her to bring to work...oops. But seriously, look that them!
After my cookie success I decided to try my hand again at making strudel, this time with the rugelach dough. Was it exactly like my great-grandma use to make? No. Was it perfect? No. Was it freaking delicious and a fabulous starting point? Yes!
Here's to a satisfied me with a full Girlfriend who gets to sample my various strudels in the hopes of making gluten free happiness :-)

Friday, November 12, 2010

Labels and Limitations

I've been wanting to post about this for a while but have had difficulty getting my thoughts coherent, my ideas concise, and my opinions clear. Who knows if this will make much sense or if I stand alone in my sentiments. I've noticed (and experienced) a shift in the desire to label oneself, to identify, to claim an identity and try as I might, I don't understand. I'm not talking about the labels of femme, butch, androgynous, top, bottom, etc. The more basic, primary labels of gay, lesbian or bisexual. Not only is there this shift to no label oneself but also a judgement (What am I doing? Judging, but this is not about me.) at those who do label themselves my responding with things like, "I'm not into labels." or "I'm attracted to the person, not their gender." or my personal favorite, "Why would I want to limit myself?" Now I get (and agree) that labels can be restricting, and I also get (and agree) that labels often have unwanted connotations HOWEVER I have some issues with these responses. Let's take a look at each one and break down my issues.

"I'm not into labels." *Least irritating response*
Okay, fine, whatever. I'm not talking about giving me all the subset groups you could possibly be categorized into,I just want to know who you would like to be set up with/interested in dating out of the general population.

"I'm attracted to the person, not their gender." *Moderately irritating response*
Well aren't you special. When you really examine this response, it makes no sense. OBVIOUSLY you are attracted to specific people. This goes along with the long held-completely ass backwards idea that all gay men are attracted to all men, all lesbians are attracted to all women, and all of society should be afraid of bisexuals because they want to sleep with everyone. Part of the reason that I'm attracted to Girlfriend IS her gender. I love the way women feel, the soft smoothness of their skin. The way they smell after a shower when their skin and hair have that intoxicating combination of body wash, lotion and conditioner. The curves of their body and how they know they are beautiful and have something to offer without arrogance just pride and confidence in who they are as a person. How they can be strong and sensitive, nurturing and powerful or everything in between all at the same time. Their gender IS attractive to me.

"Why would I want to limit myself?" or "I don't want to limit myself." *I am punching you in the face in my mind*
This one REALLY pisses me off (as if you could not tell already) and it took me a while to figure out why I had such a strong-and violent-reaction. I'm not "limiting myself" by only dating women, I'm being authentic to my feelings and true to myself. It's not "limiting" if it's who you are attracted to and want to be with in a relationship. It is "limiting" when you are trying to please everyone else or don't know what you want for yourself. As someone who dated men for far too long in order to please other people, dating women isn't limiting myself, it's freedom.

Please tell me in the comments below-do you agree with me? Disagree? I'm curious if I'm missing something in these statements.

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Frustration almost beyond words...

I miss regular food. Most of the time it's not a big deal and I've learn to adapt most recipes to make them gluten free. There is one beloved food however that has escaped this power: apple strudel. I f*cking LOVE apple strudel, so imagine my excitement when I found a recipe for a gluten free dough for strudel. For three hours I worked on the dough, following the recipe to a T, making my family recipe for the filling, and began rolling out the first of two crusts. It started to break and I added more milk (like the recipe said) and it looked a little better. I then tried to roll it again. Again it broke. I tried 4 times with each crust until giving up. All I wanted to do was make my favorite recipe for Girlfriend and co-workers. All of us have had difficult weeks (yesterday I threw a stapler across the classroom-no I will not get into it) and I wanted to do something nice. Normally the gluten free change doesn't bother me, but when I invest a bunch of money and three hours of my night only to have a *confirmed awesome recipe* flop it leaves me in tears that cannot be brushed away with rice flour....

Sunday, November 7, 2010

Workman's Comp

It should be no surprise that I run around at work like a crazy person. The children are use to it and don't even notice anymore. We had people from central office in our class a couple of weeks ago and when they mentioned something about how I move around so much the kids didn't think it was strange. It's the only way that we can get everything done in a day and normally everything is fine because our classroom runs like a (quick moving) well oiled machine. Friday was no different, but for some dumb reason I decided to put a chair in the middle of the carpet for them to put their papers on (can you guess where this is going?) when they finished their work. Why did I do this? I don't know, it seemed like a good idea at the time. It continued to seem like a good idea right up to the moment when I spun around, flipped up in the air and landed smack on top of the hard plastic chair. It's a plastic chair, how much damage could it do? Let's just say that it took all of my adult strength and self control not to blurt out at the top of my lungs, "HOLY MOOOOOOTHEERRRRRRR FUUUUUUCKKKKKKEERRRRRRRRRR!!!!" Here is how my shin looks today and yes, it is swollen from just below my knee all the way down to my ankle. I texted my co-worker a picture and she said it gave me a cankle, I responded with it gave me a shinkle. I wish I could get workman's comp for my own clumsy stupidity...

Thursday, November 4, 2010

Halloween Hilarity

On Halloween Girlfriend and I headed out to our favorite (predominantly male) gay club for some drag queen and costumed festivities. While people watching at the bar a VERY VERY drunk man came over and started chatting with us. He was wearing a cheerleader uniform that said "Queer Leader" on the front and carrying a big lady gaga style light up wand.

Here are some snippets from our conversation:

Drunken Leader: Women! Are you ladies here for a bachelorette party?
Girlfriend: Nope.
Drunken Leader: Oh, ok. Is this your first time here?
Girlfriend: No. We've been here many times before.
Drunken Leader: That's great! For a bachelorette party tonight?
Girlfriend: Nope. Just Halloween.

He kept rambling on about how he likes hanging out with women, loves ladies-but not like that, how we were all looking so pretty tonight, etc. At one point he left us for a brief minute because he was distracted by a guy covered head to toe in glitter dancing up on unsuspecting people.

Girlfriend: Oh man! I cannot believe this!
Me: What? What?
Girlfriend: He thinks we're straight.
Me: Seriously?
Girlfriend: Seriously.
Me: How is that possible? Look at us!!
Girlfriend: He is REALLLLLLLY drunk.

This is what we looked like people. How drunk would you have to be to not put 2 and 2 together? No, we were not wearing masks, but that's pretty much what our faces looked like (minus the yellow and red skin)
He came back and again a third time he asked us if we were all single or celebrating a bachelorette party. Girlfriend explained how our other friends were single, but we were a couple.
His eyes grew HUGE as the drunken wheels in his brain turned. Then he opened his mouth...."OH, you're lesbians! I LOVE lesbians! You know, I'm gay too." He said with his hands on his hips and head tilted to the side while shifting all of his weight to one leg in his little Queer Leader skirt. All we could do was laugh, look at one another and say, "We love Halloween!"

Thursday, October 28, 2010

Awesome, party of eight

Teachers at my school dressed up today for Halloween (there is no school tomorrow) and we have been learning about the light spectrum in science. The leprechaun in the front is my assistant principal. When he found out about our fun idea he wanted in on the fun!

P.S.-I'm the one in yellow, which I dyed myself in the sink last night!

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Girlfriendism Part 3

While looking at both of our dogs sitting on the floor:
"The little one looks like someone just stole his lollipop right out of his mouth."

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Girlfriendism Part 2

While sitting on the couch at home: "I found a muscle right here (pointing to side of shin) that I didn't know existed until our ridiculous hike across Georgetown. Now every time I take a step it shouts 'Stop Fucking Walking!!!!' "

Monday, October 25, 2010


In response to obnoxious teenagers shouting on the Metro: "The problem with public transportation is that the public is there." To which an older lady who overheard replied, "Amen. Damn kids."

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Some things I will never understand...

Yesterday Girlfriend and I sent out our "Save the Dates" for our upcoming wedding. Normally the mail here takes forever and a year but by some miracle everyone who lives in NC and is invited received their magnet today (awesome!) resulting in several happy texts/e-mails...and several hateful ones all from the same person.
Girlfriend said not to invite them, said they wouldn't come, said she knew for sure. She said, she said, she said. I didn't listen or believe her. I argued and guilted her into changing her mind. I made her invite them out of principle, out of respect, out of well...the right damn thing to do. I knew she was wrong. I knew they would change their mind. I knew they just needed some time after hearing the news. I knew, I knew, I knew. I was wrong.
Who sent her hateful messages? Who said she was enough of an embarrassment to the extended family already? Who said they had over 20 reasons why they couldn't attend? Who pleaded with her to call the wedding off? Who said she/we are making a huge mistake? Who said it was a terrible idea? Who would be so hurtful and hateful? Her father.
I simply cannot understand how a parent can be so hateful. My parents are ALL about this wedding. They are excited, telling their friends, wanting to be involved, and support our marriage-are mad that our license isn't valid in our home state and want us to move to where it would be recognized. Even if my parents didn't support our wedding and marriage, or even if they didn't love Girlfriend-they would be at my wedding. They would be there and they would keep their mouth's shut. They would be there because I. am. their. kid. Girlfriend's dad and I have politely gone toe-to-toe in the past. We have very different opinions on most things and while we have disagreed I at least respected him in his wrongness. However his texts were completely out of line and I will NEVER understand how a parent could ever turn their back on their child. He has one daughter (and a son) who is having her one wedding and he sent her HATEFUL text messages. She tried to act like it didn't bother her, like she wasn't surprised or hurt...but her eyes told a different story. I burst into tears apologizing for making her invite them, promising to listen to her about them in the future, and felt just awful. She just looked and me, shrugged her shoulders, and said, "I'm not surprised." It pained me to have her not be surprised at the things he said. I was more than surprised, I was SHOCKED. I mean, her dad has said mean things in the past but NOTHING compared to these texts. One thing he did get right was recognizing that their decision to not come (or rather their inability since they can't attend) will affect their future relationship and decisions. DAMN RIGHT. I will be making DAMN sure to call her my fiance and wife in his presence, to have our wedding pictures out in plain sight for them to see if they ever come to our home. I am always very polite and respectful to him, and I will continue to be since that's just how I was raised, but tonight I lost all respect for him.

Tuesday, October 12, 2010


There are few things more terrifying than hearing your baby is in danger to keep you up at night, worried out of your mind.

Girlfriend was playing with the boys in the yard when she watched B man slide his head, shoulders and front legs under the fence after a squirrel. THANKFULLY he came back when she called him but it shook me to my core. I was in a TOTAL funk after she told me and when I finally started to talk about my bad mood I lost it. I mean lost it. Tears, snotty nose, red splotchiness, grossness all around as I crumbled into a pile on the floor. The thought that if he got out he would be gone for good, compounded with the fact that all I've done at him the last two weeks is yell, was just too much for me. Girlfriend was super sweet, sat down on the ground next to me and reminded me that she did see the problem, he didn't get out, and everything (and everyone) is okay. Then she also reminded me that I have been yelling at him because he has been a butt lately, and not because I don't love him to pieces. Later that night I had forced snuggle time with B and reminded him AGAIN to not eat L's food. It has corn. He is allergic to corn. He will continue to be itchy and pink. Then I told him I loved him and to please not run away to chase a little creature because he will probably forget where he lives and be hungry and lost and not have his blankets or toys or treats or comfy beds or mommies to snuggle with when he wants some head scratching time. Girlfriend told me I was being slightly overprotective and overreactive. My response? If he gets out he's coming with me everywhere for the rest of his life and that I must hold on to him to make sure he is okay. B's response-jumping out of my lap and hiding behind Girlfriend. I also reminded her that I cried when I looked at his pictures from the first week I had him and realized that he was no longer a puppy but a "big boy" so she should not be surprised by my craziness.

The fence company is coming tomorrow to fix two spots where it has gotten messed up and B can escape. $200 well spent.

Wednesday, October 6, 2010


I told you I would have something to share that wasn't wedding related! In fact, I have two things!

1) Picture taken from a fourth grade classroom where they have been studying the natural resoucres of North Carolina. I can't make this shit up if I tried.
In case you can't read "child" it says: I made my map by using the facts they gave me, and my own knowledge. I learned that trees cover half of North Carolina.
Apparently this child is confusing trees for dildos, that or I am concerned about what his "own knowledge" may include. On the topic, don't you learn how to draw a tree at like 4 years old????

I took this picture of a leveled reader I found in the back of my classroom closet and the information card that goes with it. I shall ask you the same thing that I asked Girlfriend-Children's book...or gay porn?

Sunday, October 3, 2010

One little thing, okay two

Ok, so I realized that my last several posts have been wedding related and I PROMISE that I will resume posting hilarious things my students say/do as soon as they say/do something interesting. However, tonight Girlfriend and I finally agreed on invitations. We *shockingly* like two totally opposite styles: her-black and white, me-color, her-layers and stuff that opens, me-no layers, etc. We are making our own because we only need 12 and don't have a large budget. Here is the background we are using (we will print them on cream/ivory paper) since our "colors" are pale blue, brown and ivory. They became our "colors" by default. We are both going to wear ivory (super pale people don't look awesome in white), she wants blue hydrangea flowers, and I want a chocolate frosted cake. Girlfriend has put me in charge of invites but the "save the dates" (which I don't think we need but she really wants to have) are all her responsibility. This should get interesting...
Again, I PROMISE that this is not going to turn into some crazy wedding blog, but I have to get a little of this stuff out of my system. Oh, and before I forget we have slightly increased our total wedding guests to 23, not because my family wants me to, but because the more I talked, the more I cried, the more I cried the more unhappy I became, the more unhappy I was the more I realized that I wanted my family and our friends there. Girlfriend has no problem with this, her near exact quote was, "Didn't I tell you to invite them from the beginning? I just don't have any other family to invite. I just agreed with you to get you to stop talking about our feelings so I could watch TV."

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Kids are funny

When walking down the hall I overhear one of my students talking to another, and somehow I got sucked in...

D: That was my old classroom when I was in Miss S[uperhardname]'s class.
H: Really? I was in the next classroom with Mrs. B.
D: Yeah. Her name use to be Miss S[uperhardname] until she got married. Now she's Miss P___.
D: Hey Miss S, I have a question.
Me: Yes?
D: When you get married, what name are you going to pick?
Me: What do you mean...pick?
D: You know, like how Miss S[uperhardname] became Miss P___ when she got married. What name are you going to pick?
Me: (trying not to laugh) You know she didn't just pick the last name P___ right? She married Mr. P___ and that's how she became MRS. P____.
D: OH! I thought she just picked that name when she got married cuz it was earier to say.

Thursday, September 23, 2010

I will not surrender

I feel like my engagement should be a happy, fun time but it's not starting out so well. We wanted a small, simple wedding. Nothing elaborate, nothing fancy, nothing expensive. Just simple, small, and about us. Unfortunately there are MANY stressors that are making this time less than awesome. Here they are for you in level of stress inducing power.

1. Girlfriend's family (specifically dad and step-mom)
They are not coming, are not talking to her at the moment after telling them we are engaged. Exact quote, "Don't you think I (dad) already have enough on my plate to not think about this?" When posting engaged as her Facebook status-another direct quote for your enjoyment, "Please delete all personal information. At least try to have a facade of dignity for the family." (I would like to state she did not delete anything)
2. My family (specifically my mom)
She want me to invite everyone in our family, people that I know including God-parents, God-siblings, friends from back home, friends from school, etc. I'm not talking about people that I don't know, don't care about. These are all people who love me, would be/are supportive of the wedding, and who I talk with on a regular basis. That just makes the wedding not "small" anymore.
Girlfriend's family is NOT coming except for her mom, brother and his fiance. My ENTIRE family wants to come. See the problem? Just rub it in her face that her family doesn't support us, won't acknowledge that we are getting married, and see me with everyone I have known my whole life happy and joking about. Telling my mom it was only going to be immediate family sent her in to a fit of tears, which made me cry, and now the whole thing just sucks all around. Realizing that I still need to tell the rest of my family that I'm engaged AND then tell them they're not times all around.
4. Finding/Agreeing on a venue
Apparently if you want to get married at a bed a breakfast, you have to rent the entire place. Um, we don't need that many rooms and seriously need a courtyard/pretty area for 20 minutes. Why is it so effing difficult??? What I like, she doesn't. What she likes, I don't. We FINALLY agreed on 2 places that we like, one for the wedding (in front of a cool looking historic house with a garden in a park) and one for the reception/dinner (at the inn where we will stay and DON'T have to rent the entire place.)
5. Money
The smallest of the stressers because my parents are being VERY, and I mean VERY generous with helping us. Most of the stress is how I don't understand why it costs so much for so little. Girlfriend made a good point of suggesting we need to say we are having a "gathering" or a "dinner" instead of "wedding" and "reception" because it cuts the price and is more accurate to our needs. We don't want a prearranged dinner, we want our family to eat what they want and just a room for us to sit in without it being in the middle of random people. Too much to ask for? Apparently so. We have to get married within the area of DC to make it legal, and everything inside of DC costs a freaking arm and leg. Ridiculous.

Here is my engagement mantra: I will not surrender to make everyone else happy. This is our wedding. We will have the wedding we want, the way we want.

Thursday, September 16, 2010

Change is good, right?

There have been some changes this week in my home. Changes that some of you might be surprised to read about, while others may have had an inclination if they read between the lines. The relationship between Girlfriend and I changed. It has changed in a way that causes us to redefine who we are to each other and our relationship. I will probably continue to refer to her as "Girlfriend" in posts, although that name no longer fits who she is to me. I know, I know, many of you are wondering what happened, what caused this change, what events unfolded? Well we all know that change is good, life is not designed to remain stagnant, and we all wind up taking a journey with bumps, twists and turns we were not expecting. Girlfriend will remain a big part of my blogging and my life, and will probably be called "Girlfriend" for convenient reference but as of last night, she is my fiance. Had you concerned for a minute didn't I! I proposed last night with an amethyst ring (see pictures below) and caught her totally off guard. It started when she got home and she kept looking at me because I couldn't stop sweating. Like, sweating sweating. It was not cute. I gave her a scrapbook that had pictures of the past year and a half (including one that was taken the night we met) and a long letter. The letter explained how she has changed me for the better, how much I love her, and how I can't see my life without her. She got teary eyed, I got teary eyed, and I still could not stop sweating. Then I gave her a hollowed out book that had her ring hanging inside. She opened the book, her eyes got big, she looked at me, looked at the ring, looked at me, looked at the ring and said, "Ummm." I told her that this ring was what I could afford at the time, and that later down the road I would buy her a different one. She put it on, said something about loving the ring, not wanting something different. I told her that I loved her, and that I will continue to do things "just because" and to get use to it. She hugged me, we got up (we were sitting on the couch) and I told her to call her mom because she was expecting a call. Girlfriend asked what I meant and I told her that I had talked with her mom on Sunday (thus the short important conversation) and asked for her blessing/permission to give her daughter a ring. Girlfriend went outside, talked with her mom while I cooked, we ate dinner, got ice cream, shopped for accessories to wear to the Lady Gaga concert this weekend, and came home. The whole time we were running errands/hanging out she would occasionally look at me with a funny look and say nothing.

OK. Let's stop for a moment. Did you notice something odd? I don't know...something missing? Go back, read the story again, see if you catch it. Then check out the pictures and find out the answer to my question.

I F*CKING FORGOT TO ACTUALLY PROPOSE. Yeah. About that. I was so nervous that I serious forgot to say the words, "Will you marry me?" I realized this a couple hours later as we were going to bed. Laying down I said, "So, um, I kinda just realized something...and I don't know how this happened, but I totally forgot to actually ask you to marry me. Will you marry me?" Girlfriend BUSTED out laughing, told me she realized this hours ago, thus the funny looks, said she was confused at first if the ring was just a 1 1/2 year present or engagement ring but then when I told her to call her mom she figured it out. She was waiting on me to realize it. She then had the best answer, "I guess so, I've been wearing the ring for hours now." Worst. Proposal. Ever. But on the bright side we now have an awesome proposal story to retell. We then decided that it was a classic "us" situation where I do something awkward and she just waits patiently for me to realize it. My mom laughed for a good 5 minutes on the phone today when I told her and I just kept saying, "It's not that funny."

Go ahead and laugh, even I know it's that funny.

Sunday, September 12, 2010

Deep breath, exhale

Tonight I had one of the most important, yet brief, conversations of my adult life. Look for an update later this week...

Sunday, September 5, 2010

Cannot believe I'm sharing this

On Saturday I went to a football game. Note that I am not a football person. At. All. We only went because Girlfriend works at the university that was playing my Alma mater and we scored four free tickets to the game (including food) and brought along my best friend (former roommate who also went to the same school) and her husband to watch our boys play their first game of the season. About 4 minutes into the game I had a serious revelation. ALL throughout college (giving tours, doing orientation stuff, volunteer stuff, working on campus, etc.) you always had to wear khaki pants/shorts/skirts with a maroon shirt. I always thought they wanted us to wear khakis because they were neutral and looked somewhat professional with the shirts and everyone owns khakis. Um, yeah. No. People, our school colors were maroon and gold. Our shirts were always maroon. With khakis...maroon and gold. WOW. I processed this revelation out loud as it was occurring in my brain and here is what happened.

Former roommate: You just realized this?
Me: Yes!
FR: Like, just now.
Me: Uh, huh. I know, ten years too late.
FR: I can't believe they gave you a degree.
Me: Totally did, and it's a degree to teach!

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

I think I'm funny

Today we were talking about the moon. More specifically what they think they know, and what they are wondering so I can *hopefully* tailor some of my lessons to answer their questions/fix their knowledge to be scientifically accurate. Here is a snippet of how it went:

Child: I am wondering if anyone has explored the dark side and how they did it if it's so dark?
Me: That's a great question! {writing on chart paper} Has anyone explored the dark side of the moon? Maybe you're wondering how in the world, or rather how in the moon, we know so much?


Me: (still laughing at myself) How in the moon, get it? Ahh, at least I think I'm funny.

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

First day, first awesome quote!

Today was not at dreadful as I was expecting and I actually have some really sweet kids in the mix of future juvenile delinquents. One child in particular was unintentionally HILARIOUS today. He is an only child and from now on will be referred to as Little Adult (LA). I had several notes on the board as to where to put supplies, backpacks, lunch boxes, etc. and he asked me my name 3 times in ten minutes stating, "Sorry, I really want to make sure I get it right." Note-my name is very common and spelled the way it sounds. He then asked me where to put his extra paper, then he asked me where the pencil sharpener was, then he asked me if he could get a drink, then asked something else that I can't remember. THEN he said, and I quote: "Sorry Miss ______. I'm going to run you ragged with all my questions today."

I'll give you a minute to really absorb that.

SERIOUSLY, what eight year old talks like that?!?!?! It made my day. That and the realization that there are only 4 months from today until Christmas and only 179 student days until summer!

Monday, August 23, 2010


Tomorrow is one of my least favorite days of the year. It's an itty-bitty bit better than parent/teacher conferences and Back to School night. Tomorrow is "meet the teacher" for two hours. It sounds harmless, doesn't it? Bring your kid and their supplies, drop stuff off in the classroom, say hi to the teacher and leave. Yet it's one of my levels of hell because it involves many things that I am not good at including:

1) small talk
2) smiling for long periods of time
3) being perky when I've been on my feet for 10+ hours already
4) interacting with parents
5) answering the same questions 15+ times

I don't know what happens when parents walk into the room. I am perfectly fine, holding conversations with co-workers and friends then BAM! I develop an awkward stutter and all my credibility goes out the window. I don't want to talk about your "baby" or your "angel" I just want to go home, eat dinner and go to bed early the night before I will spend the first of many awkward days with your "angel" as we figure out how this is going to work for the next 180 days. Don't get me wrong, I like what I do. I just don't like interacting with parents. If I liked talking to adults all day I would work in an office.

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Principal Attire

My principal needs this shirt to let the rest of the world know what we are ALL too aware of...

I looked into job openings in other districts but choose to finish my last year on a contract that would eliminate $5,000 of student loans. Let's hope I didn't make an enormous mistake...

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Highlight of the Day

I was at a SUPER overwhelming staff training yesterday and today which has left me less than excited for the upcoming school year. The highlight of the day was having a conversation with a co-worker while watching a video clip about this new curriculum program we are starting. Enjoy!

Befuddled Coworker: Wait. Whales are mammals?
Me: Mhmmm.
Befuddled Coworker: Really!
Me: Um, were't you here yesterday when we watched the same video clip?
Befuddled: I guess I missed that part.
[10 seconds of silence as the video continues]
Befuddled Coworker: Baby whales drink milk???
Me: Uh, yeah...that's part of being a mammal and stuff.
[awkward silence]
Befuddled Coworker: [too loudly] But where are their nipples?!?!?!

At this point our entire table burst into laughter, which then got us a stern look, which made us laugh even harder because she kept going saying, "How don't I know this? Wait, don't I teach this? Oh, crap! My poor students from last year! Whales have nipples? Where? Oh, I'm so confused right now."
In conclusion: Whales are mammals. Baby whales drink milk. We don't know where the mother whales' nipples are located so feeding remains a mystery.

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

I'm concerned about the future...

Let's play a little game, shall we? It's called: can you spot what's wrong with my beer in this picture?
Take your time...

I went to the store and bought groceries, I hand the cashier my bags that I brought from home. The bagger man proceeds to fit the majority of my things in one bag which was fantastic. All that was left was beer. The cashier girl asks me, "Would you like this in a bag?" I look a see that I have a spare bag and reply, "Sure, that would be great." She then puts my beer in a plastic bag. As she's doing this I say to her, "Excuse me miss, but I have an extra bag that I brought with me." She looks over says, "oh, ok!" and puts the plastic bag in the reusable one I brought with me, hands it to me with a smile and says, "Have a great day!" The bagger and I look at each other, look at her and look back at each other in disbelief. I had to take a picture and share this story with all of you to remind you that you should ALL be very concerned about the future decision makers and voters of this country...

Monday, August 9, 2010

Highly disappointed in my brethren

I am an advocate for motorcycles. I can't help it, I was raised on them. After my 9+ hour drive to Jersey yesterday I have made some observations and feel obligated to share. Motorcycle riders fall into three distinct categories (For the record yes, my background makes this a bias observation and I will not apologize for that.)

Group 1: Serious Travel Riders
This is the group that my father belongs to. These bikers are serious about riding. They often have trailers that they pull behind their bikes (as my dad does) to carry all their stuff on cross-country trips. These bikes are essentially thinner convertible cars. They are huge, I mean huge but you would never know they are coming because they are so quiet. These drivers act the same way that car drivers act mostly because they take up about the same amount of space.

Group 2: Weekend Riders
This is the group that my mom belongs to. She drives a Shadow Aero around town on the weekends, rolls around town having fun, but isn't going to go across country on her bike. These riders generally obey traffic rules, especially in congestion. They recognize that they are smaller and that the SUV will crush them. Their advantage/defense is that they are noisier than the touring bikes so you at least know they are around.

Group 3: Crotch Rocket Assholes
Clearly I had some bad experiences yesterday. But seriously, haven't we all seen these assholes weave in between cars, ride the dotted line and drive like a bat out of hell down the street for no reason and shake our heads at their stupidity? These riders think they are invincible, that traffic laws don't apply to them and that they can do as they damn well please because they are small and fast. It should be no surprise that sport bikes have twice the death rate as cruisers, standard and touring bikes. On my drive yesterday I watched three CRA (Crotch Rocket Assholes) weave between cars, split, left/right/left around cars at mind-blowing speeds. Later in the day I watched another CRA ride the dotted line while everyone else was stuck in traffic due to a serious accident. That being said, I would like to give some accolades to one CRD (driver) who saw the CRA who rode the dotted line. This gentleman obeyed the traffic laws, threw his hands up in the air and shook his head at the other rider in disbelief. I'm not saying there are no responsible drivers of these bikes, but when I see you I assume you are an asshole until you prove differently.

There is your generalization of motorcycles on the road. Remember people, knowledge is power...

Thursday, August 5, 2010

I love surprises!

Girlfriend and I were supposed to go here on Wednesday but considering that it is a sour note (pun intended) I surprised her and took her here. She was totally surprised and VERY excited about it. She took some hilarious videos that I will do my best to get a copy of and post here but for now you can enjoy this picture:
My best friend's wedding was amazing and it was awesome to catch up with people that I haven't seen since we graduated college. It made me miss them and it also brought up random stories from my past that Girlfriend didn't know about. Nothing bad-things like jumping in fountains, partying late into the night, and standard drunken fun. Girlfriend did get a little concerned about the things I did in the past, thinking that I was missing my wild side and would leave her because I'm "bored" with her. At first I thought she was kidding, but when I saw the tears in her eyes I quickly reassured her that I love her, am in this, and while it's fun to reminisce with my friends about our wild days those days are long behind me. I'm much happier renting a movie, drinking wine at home, snuggling with dogs on the couch and socking away money to start a family.
Speaking of family (like the segway?) I'm heading home to Jersey on Sunday and kicking it with Ga-ma and Gam-pa (that's what B calls them...don't judge) before starting the school year. I'm certain something entertaining will occur so stay tuned! I'm cutting this short because there is a for-serious storm outside and B needs my full attention right now. He's already had a stressful day with two baths (more on that next time).

Sunday, August 1, 2010

Update: The wedding was awesome but I am so. hung. over. Lengthier post when my internal organs are no longer fighting with each other of who gets to torture me at the moment.

Friday, July 30, 2010

Helping Hand Please

Sorry I haven't been posting but I was knee deep in wedding stuff for my best friend. Currently I am like this:
I really and truly didn't know how much crap, I mean stuff, goes into planning a wedding. My house is filled with people, I finally finished my speech (damn good thing since the wedding is tomorrow!) and everything is ready. People please remind me of how much I don't like any of this if I ever say I want a wedding...
Anyway, I will be back to posting more regularly soon and am heading home for a week (always a story rich environment) before work begins (you KNOW those kids will say/do something bizarre) :-)
OH! OH! OH! before I forget-remember that co-worker who I had it out with? You know the bully? She took an assistant principal job at another school!!! Happy day for me, sad day for them.

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

What I've been up to-picture style

I've been trying a lot of new recipes including:
A new gluten free pizza crust (it got two thumbs up and a food wiggle)
Eggless salad sandwich (it got one thumb up)
Cornmeal casserole (two thumbs up and a food dance)
Teriyaki tempeh and veggies (one thumb up)

I also took the kitchen from this:
To this!
Girlfriend and I are heading to the beach for a week right before my best friend (former roommate) gets married. Here's hoping that I don't get sunburned!

Friday, June 25, 2010

Ho Hum...

It's summer time but I have not abandoned you, I just have nothing to write. This is what B and I have been up to:
With no children asking random things, co-workers sharing inappropriate things, and truly not doing anything I have nothing to share :-( I promise I'll come up with something for next week...

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Enough is Enough

It has stormed here every day for the last solid week. I don't mind rain. I don't mind thunder. I don't even mind lightening. What I do mind is the massive headaches I've been having from the constant changes in air pressure. It's gotten to the point where I've taken more Imitrex this week than I have in the last several months and it has left me with one unresolved question-What kind of masochist designed the packaging?!?! My head is pounding, I can barely see straight and I have to work through three layers of hard cardboard and reinforced aluminum foil...are you f*cking kidding me!! Finally I decided that I had enough of this bullsh*t. I cut out all the pills in the package, shoved them in a *normal* pill bottle and relabeled it with my label maker. I mean seriously people, three protective layers? AND if you push too hard your crush the tablet. F*cking awesome. Sorry, as you can tell I am a bit bitter tonight. Hopefully the storms will pass, my near constant headache will diminish and I can return to your regular fun loving sarcastic blogger.

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Gripping the table for strength

Last night Girlfriend and I were talking over dinner and the topic of children came up. Here is a bit of what I remember...

Girlfriend: 22 months.
Me: Say what!
Girlfriend: tweeeennnntttttyyy-ttwoooooo mmmmmoooooooonnnnnnnnths.
Me: But, but, but we don't have enough money and my parents are still far away and did I mention money?
Girlfriend: One, we will never have enough money. Your argument is not valid. Two, your parents are moving here. Second argument is not valid. Twenty-two months and something needs to be growing in here (pointing to belly).
Me: WAIT! Growing in twenty-two months?!?! Not starting to try having something growing then? So that pushes the time, have I mentioned I will be staying home the first year?
Girlfriend: (hysterical laughter) NO!
Me: Well it's not up for negotiation. I am not putting our six week old baby in day care. Not happening. At two they can go to daycare and I will go back to work. We would only have your income for a year, that's why I'm spazzing out over here.
Girlfriend: I'll keep looking online for other openings and you freaking out on me makes more sense now. Would you feel better if I pushed it to thirty-four?
Me: Thirty-four? What is thirty-four? I can't do that kind of math right now!
Girlfriend: I added twelve. Breathe and let go of the table.

I had to go and change my shirt because I had a serious case of the "freak out sweats" thinking about money and kids and money and money. Today I am doing much better. I realize that we truly will never have enough money but we will make it work. We then got into a very serious talk about children and church and her coming with me. It's really important to me that they go and make their own decisions as adults but we need to give them the opportunity to decide for themselves. She knows my faith is really important to me and gets mad at me when I skip church to sleep in. My argument is not that the children go, but that we need to go as a family. Her argument is that it can be the thing that I do with them and her thing will be taking them to the batting cages. Here is a bit of fun in an otherwise serious conversation that will be revisited later on (but resolved within the next twenty-two months):

Me: Then they can make the statement, "Why do I have to go and mom doesn't?"
Girlfriend: I'll tell them because their mother said so. That's the end of that conversation and debate. We both win. You have them in church and I'm home sleeping.
Me: Nope. You have to go too...because their mother said so. Haha I win!
Girlfriend: They have two mothers. Those statements cancel each other out like paper/paper in rock, paper, scissors.

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Field Day is awesome!

Today was field day. Field day as many of you remember is intrinsically awesome. It was also the kindergarten grade level party. Kindergarteners (who can totally smell fear) are also intrinsically awesome. Why? They provide FABULOUS stories for me to share! Most of their grade level party consisted of water guns, water balloons, sponges, etc. It was pretty much anything to let them be wet, tired and and run around like crazy caged animals. One kindergartener decided to stop and pee on a bush outside where they were playing. Three other joined him.

Teacher: S! What are you doing?!?!
S: Peeing. We're outside and wet.
Teacher: Excuse me?
S: Mom! Tell my teacher we're supposed to pee outside!

His mom turned deep red because yes, she has taught him when he and his little brothers are soaking wet they pee at the edge of the property instead of tracking puddles through the house. Here is a part of a conversation I had with Girlfriend today:

Me: Today is going to be totally awesome!
Girlfriend: Why's that?
Me: Cuz. First it's field day. That's awesome. Second you are coming over. That's awesome. That makes today totally awesome.
Girlfriend: Field day today. Adult field day tonight.

I'm off to shower because I stink from field day and need to be smelling good for the adult field day to come ;-)

Sunday, June 6, 2010


Girlfriend is away this weekend at her cousin's graduation. You know what that means...project! I took it upon myself to reorganize and de-clutter the pantry. I should have taken a "before" picture but I didn't think of that until had all the contents emptied out onto my kitchen table, chairs and floor. The "before" picture would have contained an entire shelf of cookbooks, 1 tiny spice rack and everything shoved everywhere in bags from the lack of containers. I left the 6 cookbooks that I constantly use and put the rest on the bookshelf in the office. I bought/attached a second spice rack and a plastic wrap holder thing. That gave me an entire extra shelf to work with! I'm slowly making the move to all square and rectangle container and I really like the OXO pop top ones but they are a bit pricy so this transition is going to take some time. I've warned Girlfriend that any time she leaves for a weekend that I will find a project and she needs to be/act happily surprised.

My finished work:

Saturday, June 5, 2010

When I thought it couldn't be more craptastic...

Central office decided to cut off out air conditioning today to save money. It was 89 degrees outside. Yup. I thought the whole fiasco of us having to work on a Saturday was enough craptastic bullsh*t leave it to central office to find a way to make it worse...

Friday, June 4, 2010

Craptastic bullsh*t

Craptastic seems like the only appropriate word to describe the current situation. We teachers worked Memorial Day and we will work Saturday creating a six day work week. Guess who wasn't open on Memorial Day? Guess who won't be open tomorrow? CENTRAL OFFICE. This is total craptastic bullsh*t.

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Neighborly Chatter

My awesome neighbor and I were talking about the county's decision to create more furlough time in the upcoming year to make the budget work. He put it best when he said, "I tried to mail my furlough time to Duke Energy, but for some reason they didn't want it." He said it so matter-of-fact that I busted out laughing. I then added it that at least he got to use his time even if he didn't want it. Last year they had a lot of restrictions for teachers when we were "exchanged" 10 hours of time...we could only use on non-student days, between a four month time span, etc. Here's the sneaky part-there was only ONE work day that fit all the requirements and it was the only day before report cards. AND even if you used your time you could only use six hours. Not cool rule makers, not cool. However cool/fun neighbors are where it's at.

Friday, May 28, 2010

Do as I say, not as I do

I run my mouth. This should come as no surprise. Here's a little bit of my own advice that I should have taken at work this week: before you say, "So-and-so can kiss my ass." Make sure they are not in ear shot, or that their best bud is in earshot. Yeah....
Whatever. I stand behind my statement and make no apologies for offending or running my mouth. Remember the situation with this woman? Well she was running her mouth about how we need to do another set of running records for our students before the end of the year. Eleven days away. She went on about what our grade level needed to do, and how we shouldn't have waited to the last minute, and if we were better at time management we wouldn't have a problem now, etc. (Don't you want to slap her too???) I [shockingly] ran my mouth about how we were prepping for the EOG, tested students for four hours a day, did remediation for those that didn't pass, have retesting next week AND if she had been in a classroom in the past five years she would have a clue about the reality of what we need, should and can do. Oops. Hey, my grade level buddies laughed because if I was going down I was bringing them with me :-)
In other fun work news my grade level is fighting about who knows what. Two of them are pissed at the other four but won't tell us what's wrong or what we did (clearly they have been spending WAY too much time with eight year olds) and one even went as far as sitting with us outside during recess, faced the other way and pouted as if to say, "Just so you know, I'm ignoring you." Yes, we have tried finding out what the problem is so we can fix it. One tells us, "I'm fine." The other....crickets. All I know is that when a kindergarten teacher randomly said that grade levels are a family I blurted out, "Then we totally are a family. Some of us hate each other but need to get over it because we are stuck together. They need to get over themselves, put a smile on their face, and shut it for the next eleven days." Again, yeah....that jewel got me a high five from one of my cohorts who is equally frustrated and completely clueless as to what is going on. Yup, I'm two for two this week.

In conclusion: Teachers get punchy as the days wind down. If you see a car with a school faculty sticker on the back, don't piss them off. We are all ready to cut a b*tch.

Saturday, May 22, 2010

Panic with a capital P

Tonight was another reminder that I truly have one of the best neighbors EVER. He's a laid back cop who helps me with random stuff (like moving the dining room table so I can carpet clean the dining room) whenever I ask and his wife is an equally awesome dog walker/sitter who works at a local winery. Tonight his awesomeness was no exception.

Let me paint a (somewhat gruesome) picture for you...B and Q went into the backyard and when it started drizzling a half hour later I tried calling them back in. They would not have it. B came running up the stairs, and barreled into the house but when he realized Q wasn't behind him he was gone again under the deck. I paid no mind to this. I told myself, "There are strawberries growing under the deck, they must be distracted eating strawberries." Forty-five minutes later they were still gone and I was growing uneasy with the complete silence. Suddenly I head both of them going ape-sh*t on the deck, Q's collar pops off on the top step and as I'm trying to get B in the house to separate them I A tiny dead creature on the deck. B won't leave it alone and keeps trying to bring whatever they have killed into my house and Q is gone back into the yard. 10 minutes later I get B and Q (still with no collar because it is past the little dead thing they killed) in the house and locked in the bedroom. I RUN to my neighbor and explain, "There is a tiny dead thing on the deck. I don't know what it is. A mouse or something. I can't go near it, please please please get rid of it before Girlfriend gets back! Oh, and it's guarding Q's collar, please help me and yes I know I'm being such a girl right now." He laughed at me, put on his shoes and proceeded to go to the backyard and take care of it. The "tiny dead thing" was not a mouse but a baby bunny. Not only did the dogs (probably my terrier) kill a baby bunny and try to bring it in the house, but upon further investigation there were THREE more deceased baby bunnies in the yard, one which had been torn apart. My neighbor took care of it all saying, "When I realized it was a baby bunny and not a mouse I knew there would be more. We can't have Girlfriend finding this tomorrow. This never happened." After profusely thanking him he reminded me, "It's really no problem and I don't mind. Just remember-I don't do snakes. If there's a snake, you're on your own." Thank you most awesome neighbor for helping me once again in my hour of need.

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Hell Week

I am smack dab in the middle of hell week. End of Grade (EOG) testing is upon me and I am loosing it. If these kids f*cking mis-bubble their sheets again tomorrow I might loose what is left of my sanity. Read the number, find the number, bubble the same letter. HOW F*CKING HARD IS THAT?!?!?! We've been doing it since f*cking August and these children are looking at me like they've never seen a bubble sheet before. This is our future people. The same ones who can't find and bubble the letter C will make decisions for us when we are old and decrepit. Be afraid. Be very very afraid.

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Just for funzies

I took this picture today just for funzies. I NEVER have a camera available when this stuff happens, and given how the day went this is all I've got for you.

What kind of day was it? "Interesting" seems like the only appropriate word. It included packages of candy lying about the number of pieces inside causing a near riot/student meltdown, one kid being sent away for coloring all over his hand-with my crayon that he borrowed-while going over an EOG review book, two other kids threatening to beat up/shoot each other for "running their mouths" which landed them in the office, copier issues, students yelling in the hallway and the staff generally melting down over the EOG being less than a week away. On top of that Girlfriend is sick. Really sick. I mean sick to the point of being sent to a hematologist and having an ultrasound on lymph nodes in her neck this week kind of sick. On top of everything at work hitting the proverbial fan, I am a complete mess worrying about her. Her statement to me, "Now you know how I felt when you got sick." This picture was the one thing that made me smile today. For the record I was stopped at a red light when I took it. Safety first people, safety first.

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Snapshot of our life

I think this snapshot of a conversation sums up life with me and Girlfriend.

(Yes this was in public. Yes we were quite loud. No we did not care.)

Girlfriend: WHAT!?!?
Me: Yes!
Girlfriend: Wait, WHAT!?! How did I not know this?
Me: I don't know. It was front page news the other month. I didn't mention it because I assumed you knew.
Girlfriend: I just cannot believe I didn't find this out until now.
Me: Woman, you are WAY out of the gay loop. You need to start reading your newsletter.
Straight Friend: What newsletter?
Me: The gay one. Don't stress, you're not on the mailing list.
Girlfriend: We're all on the mailing list. That's how we know our agenda. It must still be going to my old address.
Me: I jumped on the electronic one. It's more eco-friendly and sh*t. You know how our people do. Or maybe you don't since you haven't been reading the newsletter.

Monday, May 3, 2010

Birthday Awesomeness

Who is awesome? I am awesome. This you should already know from reading my blog. Since we are on a budget I made girlfriend a slew of coupons for her birthday. Did I take a picture to brag on myself before I gave them to her? Of course not! Grrr! I'll have to get her to forward me a picture of their obnoxious cuteness to share with you all. When she opened them the first thing she said was "Awww!" followed quickly by "Do I have to give them back to you, or can I please please keep them?" (We decided she can keep them and I will initial the back after she uses it) I also baked her a red velvet cake (her faves) from scratch. Scratch people. Like scratch scratch. I've never made red velvet cake before and naively thought to myself, "It's cake. How hard can it be?" Seriously, that is one freaking laborious cake. It took me a solid 5, count'em 5, hours and I had to wash all the mixing bowls in the house TWICE to make the cake, marshmallow cream and icing. If that's not love then nothing is. Here is a picture to make you jealous you aren't living with me and getting delicious birthday treats :-)

Wednesday, April 28, 2010


My best friend is right in the middle of planning her wedding (in which I am the maid of honor) and my responsibility is to be her supportive friend. We were talking (well she was talking and I was kinda-sorta-not really-listening) about the stuff she has finished compared to what she has left to do. She made the comment that they still have to do the ceremony, pick the DJ and a few other things. I asked about their vows-are they going traditional or writing their own? She non-chalantly told me that "they hadn't talked about anything in the ceremony yet and that they would get to that stuff eventually." Is it me or is that totally messed up? I get that receptions and stuff take time to plan, but shouldn't your ceremony be the top priority? It's the most important part yet it tends to fall to the bottom of the list of important details. Maybe I'm being overly sensitive about this (feel free to tell me that below-I can handle it) but an actual "wedding" itself is really inexpensive. It's all the crap that people buy into as "requirements" that's insanely expensive and completely unnecessary. That is all for today, I just had to ramble on about this once again. Girlfriend has already heard my very loud version of this rant and would rather not hear it again, so for the sake of our relationship I brought my judgement here :-)

P.S. In case you didn't figure out the title-it's out of order. Like wedding priorities.

Thursday, April 15, 2010


Another student quote that you just can't make up....

Location-Car circle
People-kindergarden boy and me

Me: Where's your sister today?
Kindergartner: She's at home. She still has her ear infucktion.
Me: I'm sorry, what?
Kindergartner: An ear infucktion. It makes her ear hurts real bad.
Me: (trying to control laughter) Oh no! Well tell her I hope she feels better soon!

Now you KNOW that kid has said "ear infucktion" several times today. You better believe I repeated the story to any and every staff member that would listen. :-)

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Fun Childhood Fact

Girlfriend and I went to church with her mom for Easter Sunday and when the little kids went up for the "children's talk".

Me: Aww, I use to love wearing little ruffle socks! I'm glad they're still in fashion.
Girlfriend: Was that before your lengthy suspender phase?
(Yes, I wore suspenders as part of my "dressy" clothes for many years. Don't judge me, I was awesome.)
Me: Before and during. Dress shirt, suspenders, ruffle socks and loafers. Standard church outfit for MANY years. Eventually the ruffle socks changed into black or brown dress socks and I insisted on my shirts being pressed with creases just like Dad. You know, for a grown up look and all.
Girlfriend: (trying to contain her laugher-we were in church and all.) Yup. Completely understand why your parents were not surprised at all when you came out.
Me: Hey, they let me dress myself. I was just expressing my awesomeness.

At lunch Girlfriend very excitedly shared this bit of information with her mom. She knew about my suspender phase, but not the rest of the ensemble. Not cool. Not cool at all. THANKFULLY Girlfriend's mom loved it and asked about my hair. For the record-pigtails when I really little with fancy ribbon barrettes, then MASSIVE headbands (whatever it was the style) and finally down or half up/half down.