Tuesday, October 12, 2010

FEAR

There are few things more terrifying than hearing your baby is in danger to keep you up at night, worried out of your mind.

Girlfriend was playing with the boys in the yard when she watched B man slide his head, shoulders and front legs under the fence after a squirrel. THANKFULLY he came back when she called him but it shook me to my core. I was in a TOTAL funk after she told me and when I finally started to talk about my bad mood I lost it. I mean lost it. Tears, snotty nose, red splotchiness, grossness all around as I crumbled into a pile on the floor. The thought that if he got out he would be gone for good, compounded with the fact that all I've done at him the last two weeks is yell, was just too much for me. Girlfriend was super sweet, sat down on the ground next to me and reminded me that she did see the problem, he didn't get out, and everything (and everyone) is okay. Then she also reminded me that I have been yelling at him because he has been a butt lately, and not because I don't love him to pieces. Later that night I had forced snuggle time with B and reminded him AGAIN to not eat L's food. It has corn. He is allergic to corn. He will continue to be itchy and pink. Then I told him I loved him and to please not run away to chase a little creature because he will probably forget where he lives and be hungry and lost and not have his blankets or toys or treats or comfy beds or mommies to snuggle with when he wants some head scratching time. Girlfriend told me I was being slightly overprotective and overreactive. My response? If he gets out he's coming with me everywhere for the rest of his life and that I must hold on to him to make sure he is okay. B's response-jumping out of my lap and hiding behind Girlfriend. I also reminded her that I cried when I looked at his pictures from the first week I had him and realized that he was no longer a puppy but a "big boy" so she should not be surprised by my craziness.

The fence company is coming tomorrow to fix two spots where it has gotten messed up and B can escape. $200 well spent.

1 comment:

Erin said...

I totally get what you mean! My boy used to bolt out the door as a puppy. It scared the heck out of me. I was afraid he'd get lost, hit by a car, afraid we wouldn't notice he snuck out when we went to work. Once he did get out and was picked up by animal control. I nearly cried when I went to pick him up.

Thank goodness when I open the door and say Bye! he sits down and gives me puppy dog eyes. It's less heart breaking then seeing him bolt out the door!