On Saturday night I went to a surprise party for one of my friends (we will call her Birthday Girl). She had told her girlfriend in a random conversation that she never went to her prom, so we threw her a prom complete with everyone being dressed up, her high school mascot on a sign, a picture taking area (complete with a backdrop, camera on a tripod and decorations), music from the year she graduated, etc. It was super fun, super gay and super hilarious.
I decided that since I always wore a dress to proms that I went to, that I would wear a suit. I even bought a new tie for the occasion. I starched and ironed a white dress shirt, shined my shoes, flat ironed my hair, did my makeup, etc. I was dressed to the nine people, to the nine.
At the party I met some people who are "family" that I have never met before who live in our little community. I bonded with the butch one (we will call her K) while we moved cars down the street, hung decorations and re-tied ties for others who needed them fixed. Half-Windsor anyone? Four-in-Hand?
After the party we all changed (because I was NOT wearing a suit and tie out and neither was anyone else) went out to the gay bar and continued to party there until early in the morning. Apparently at the bar K went up to Birthday Girl and asked her, "Is she gay?" To which Birthday Girl could not stop laughing and replied, "Has she talked yet? Don't let the hair and makeup fool you, she totally butch." I don't necessarily agree, but if labeling me makes you comfortable go for it.
Later on K and I were talking about her girlfriends kid, buying houses, etc. and I mentioned my roommate. Here is the conversation that followed:
K: Oh, how long have you lived together?
Me: About six years, we lived together in the dorms for two years and then moved to a townhouse with another girl who moved away, then I bought a house and she moved with me.
K: (pointing to my ring) Are you two married?
Me: (realizing the misunderstanding) OH GOD NO! She's straight and like a sister. (shutter) That's gross. No, there is nothing going on there, never has, never will.
K: Wait. You live with a straight girl?
K: Birthday Girl! It's because she lives with a straight girl, that's why I couldn't tell!
Me: (utterly confused) Um...ok.
Really? I wore a suit a tie to the party, helped you move cars, am at the gay bar and you don't know I'm gay? I guess living with a straight girl is like a gay invisibility cloak. The gays can't see me because I act/look too straight-whatever that means. I told my roommate and she didn't get it either. I wanted to post this earlier in the week but I was (and am) still trying to wrap my brain around it. Maybe you all can help if you have ever been the K in a situation like this one.