Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Surprisingly Shocked

Ok, I know that my blogger name is The Surprise Dyke (or TSD to my people) so nothing about this story should shock me or you...but it did...so I must share.

On Saturday night I went to a surprise party for one of my friends (we will call her Birthday Girl).  She had told her girlfriend in a random conversation that she never went to her prom, so we threw her a prom complete with everyone being dressed up, her high school mascot on a sign, a picture taking area (complete with a backdrop, camera on a tripod and decorations), music from the year she graduated, etc.  It was super fun, super gay and super hilarious.

I decided that since I always wore a dress to proms that I went to, that I would wear a suit.  I even bought a new tie for the occasion.  I starched and ironed a white dress shirt, shined my shoes, flat ironed my hair, did my makeup, etc.  I was dressed to the nine people, to the nine.

At the party I met some people who are "family" that I have never met before who live in our little community.  I bonded with the butch one (we will call her K) while we moved cars down the street, hung decorations and re-tied ties for others who needed them fixed.  Half-Windsor anyone?  Four-in-Hand?

After the party we all changed (because I was NOT wearing a suit and tie out and neither was anyone else) went out to the gay bar and continued to party there until early in the morning.  Apparently at the bar K went up to Birthday Girl and asked her, "Is she gay?"  To which Birthday Girl could not stop laughing and replied, "Has she talked yet?  Don't let the hair and makeup fool you, she totally butch."  I don't necessarily agree, but if labeling me makes you comfortable go for it.

Later on K and I were talking about her girlfriends kid, buying houses, etc. and I mentioned my roommate.  Here is the conversation that followed:

K: Oh, how long have you lived together?
Me: About six years, we lived together in the dorms for two years and then moved to a townhouse with another girl who moved away, then I bought a house and she moved with me.
K: (pointing to my ring) Are you two married? 
Me: (realizing the misunderstanding) OH GOD NO!  She's straight and like a sister.  (shutter) That's gross.  No, there is nothing going on there, never has, never will.
K: Wait.  You live with a straight girl?
Me: Yup.
K: Birthday Girl!  It's because she lives with a straight girl, that's why I couldn't tell!
Me: (utterly confused) Um...ok.

Really?  I wore a suit a tie to the party, helped you move cars, am at the gay bar and you don't know I'm gay?  I guess living with a straight girl is like a gay invisibility cloak.  The gays can't see me because I act/look too straight-whatever that means.  I told my roommate and she didn't get it either.  I wanted to post this earlier in the week but I was (and am) still trying to wrap my brain around it.  Maybe you all can help if you have ever been the K in a situation like this one.

14 comments:

sheA said...

JerSay- randomness response....



ok...wait...you're gay?!?!?!??!!?!?!??!?! No flippin way..

BaHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAaaaaAAAa- I thought this dyke thing was a description about some sort of wall built to enclose land around the sea....

As far as my world is concerned..everyone is gay until proven otherwise...A prom party- man I miss ALL the cool parties- I swear I am coming out there and inviting myself to yer block

Carolyn said...

Thank you for sharing yet another amazing belly busting laughter of a story. hee.

Propane Amy said...

You know TSD, i love your blog. i really do. it makes me laugh.

I have never been in that situation before and none of it makes any sense. I have alot of straight guy friends. So does that mean I'm "invisible" to other gay people?? LOL. Oh my....

The Surprise Dyke said...

Shea-Yup, totally gay...remember that even my hair needs a flat iron to be straight :-) You are totally invited to everything!

The Surprise Dyke said...

Carolyn-I do what I can!

The Surprise Dyke said...

Propane Amy-I think hanging with straight guys makes you somehow "more gay" I run with a crew of straight girls, wherein lies the problem for the gays. There is so much talk about boyfriends, clothes, straight-drama, etc. that they can't see the gay fixing their sinks, rewiring a light and tying their boyfriend's tie that he had jacked up. My straight friends think it is hilarious because they are so involved in my life that they can't help but comment on my obvious gayness.

thissideofchanged said...

*lmao* Oh dear.

"gay invisibility cloak" - I have one too! Do you know how to get it off?

Excellent story. My usual response to "Are you gay?" is *blink blink* "Did you miss the memo?"

Tiny baby cheesus, some people are just b l i n d!

Spacey Stacey said...

just found your blog and i couldn't help but comment. this story was too funny! i'm subscribing!

The Surprise Dyke said...

Thissideofchanged-If I learn how to get rid of it I will pass the info on!

The Surprise Dyke said...

Spacey Stacy-Welcome, and feel free to comment all over the place :-)

deboo said...

Someone hasn't got the GayDar gene.

Sheeze!

:-)

Word verification: "imeens" I must blog about that... It's kinda like, " I'm just sayin'..."

LilliGirl said...

Very funny...I totally agree that hanging with the straight guys makes you more butch though. I see it in J all the time...Guess my hanging with the all the gay guys keeps me femmy. lol

The Surprise Dyke said...

Deboo-tell me about it!

The Surprise Dyke said...

LilliGirl-Maybe I need to find some gay men to add to my posse