Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Crazy Sheltered Lady

I was taking B for his usual walk today after work and while we were across the street I hear this woman calling his name frantically. I was trying to figure out who she was, and what was wrong because clearly she knew my dog. When I turned around I saw the teeny-tiniest long hair Chihuahua running after me and B. Seeing that she was never going to catch her little dog I turned B around and we headed toward her, trying to coax her little non-dog-dog back home. When we met up she was still yelling, "B come here!" and that's when I realized that both of our dogs have the same name. Not only do they have the same name, but they are also both white dogs with brown spots. This woman was just tickled by this and here is a part of our conversation that followed.

Me: He's about three years old. I'm not exactly sure since I got him from the shelter.
Lady: You got him at the shelter?!?!
Me: Yup. He was my birthday present to myself.
Lady: WOW! I didn't know they had cute dogs at the shelter!
Me: (silent pause) Uh, yep they sure do. There were lots of cute dogs there, cats too.

Seriously. WTF. How do you respond to that? She didn't know the shelter has cute dogs? What kind of world does she live in? At this moment I realized she and I would never be friends because she was just plain loopy. She must live a very sheltered life (pun intended) and this concerned me for the sake of people and animals everywhere. On the bright side, she gave me a fun post for the evening!

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Smile because it's priceless

Ok, the week is still not awesome, but not as bad as yesterday/Sunday. I still have no TV which sucks ass but on the bright side my house has never been cleaner! B is still mad at the vacuum cleaner but that's his business. It is currently back in the closet which B is guarding while pacing, huffing and puffing at as if he WASN'T scared shitless twenty minutes ago crying in his bed. Now to a fun story from today. I was at my cone during car rider after school and this adorable little blond hair, green eyed kindergartner came to my cone waiting for his dad to pull up.

Me: Hello! How was your day today?
Kindergartner: It was okay. My friend Mikey wasn't at school today. He lives next door to me.
Me: He wasn't? Is he sick?
Kindergartner: Yeah. He has the flee.
Me: I'm sorry what? He has what? (Bending down to hear him better)
Kindergartner: The flee. He gots the flee.
Me: You mean the flu?
Kindergartner: Flu? Um, no....not the flu. He has the flee.
Me: Oh, ok. Well you tell Mikey that I hope he feels better soon!

I wish you could have seen this child's face when I said flu. He looked at me like I was a total idiot for not knowing that it is the flee not the flu (duh). Here's hoping the week is heading in this direction!

Monday, September 21, 2009

Hot Blubbering Mess

I am a hot blubbering mess y'all. This week is not starting out well and I just need to vent it out a little. On Sunday my roommate (and best friend) moved out and into her own place. I thought I was ready. I thought I could handle it. I thought I was a big girl. I thought wrong.

I knew I couldn't handle being here when it happened, so I spent the whole weekend at Girlfriend's place and came back later Sunday evening. I came home to a much emptier home that echoed when I walked, was WAY too quiet and I just lost it in a mess of tears. I know that I don't like to be alone, and now here I am sitting on the couch by myself blogging while my dog is happily sleeping on the floor. To make things worse, my mom called to see how I was and since I know my mom, I told her I was fine. If I had been honest and told her that I had already gone through half a box of tissues she would have called my former roommate (that's weird to type) who would have come to make sure I was okay. I can't tell her that I'm a mess because she wanted to move out. She wanted her own place. She wanted to be independent. I did not want any of these things. Then I went to watch TV only to find out that the TV I've had in storage for the last seven years no longer works. No tv, no roommate, no girlfriend, silent house, oh I lost it crying again. Just around this time Girlfriend texted me to make sure I was okay and I told her I was, then later I left her a message that I wasn't. She offered to come but by the time she would have gotten here I was hoping to be asleep to be able to be up and ready for work on time. As sweet as she was being on the phone, I could tell she was a little weirded out. She thinks our friendship/relationship is not normal and here I was sobbing about how I'm all alone and the house is echoing and it's scary. Her response: You're by yourself right now, but you're not alone. I realized that as much as I wanted to talk it out to her, I just couldn't. She already feels like she has to compete with my former roommate for a specific place in my heart and I wasn't making it better. I told her I was okay, that I loved her and that I was going to bed. I fell asleep in a soggy pillow and a puppy licking my tears.
Then today started awful. My car was making terrible rattling sounds and shaking on the way to work. I brought it to the shop after work and it's still there. It was $89 to do the computer diagnostic test which showed nothing. Then it was $200 to take the front of it off and figure out that the power steering pump is broken..that's another $400 in parts and labor once it comes in. The poor man who had to tell me that it was going to cost $200 to take the front of my car off just stood there as I burst into tears explaining that I'm a teacher, it's the end of the month and I have no money. They then sent this poor man back to tell me I was going to have to pay for a rental car because mine was not safe to drive. I finally got myself back together and stopped crying...that is until I got to the rental car place. At the dealership they told me it was going to be $30 a day for a car. At the rental car place it was almost $70. I burst into hysterical sobbing because I don't have enough money in my bank account to pay for the rental car for a week, let alone the rental car and fixing my car. The man standing on the other side of the counter just kept looking around like, "I swear this isn't my fault that she's crying!" They changed the price to $30 which is the body shop price for a rental.
Now I'm off to have "Friend time" which we have done every Monday for the last five years and act like I'm okay. That I'm not sporadically bursting into uncontrollable sobs, that I'm happy she's in her own place and that I don't miss having her around. I know it's been one day and I know it will get better. It's just very very very hard to see that right now when everything feels like it's happening at once and spiraling out of control.
Thank you for listening to my sob story. I promise to be back to my sarcastic and witty self soon.

Thursday, September 17, 2009

I need advice ASAP!

Ok readers, my roommate is moving out this weekend and her parents are coming to help her move. I will not be here and they will be staying in my room. I have no problem with this, but now I'm stuck with an awkward decision: to de-gay or not de-gay the pictures in my room. I have some pictures sitting on the dressers/nightstand of Girlfriend and me on trips to various places. Part of me wants to leave them up because well, it's my room, my house, my Gay-ass life. The other part of me thinks I should put them in a drawer because she comes from a very (I mean VERY) conservative family and while they would NEVER EVER say anything, I think it might make them uncomfortable. I'm not one to usually shy away from the uncomfortable, but these are her parents who I love dearly and I want them to feel comfortable in my home. I need some advice here and I need it ASAP as they will be here tomorrow night. What do you think I should do?!?!

Thursday, September 10, 2009

Breakfast Heaven!!!

It is a serious blogging week people, I'm not sure what is up but don't expect this frequency to last. I was looking for a recipe just now and stumbled upon a site that I'm shocked I didn't know existed. I'm all up on different websites for food-I cook a lot from scratch (like scratch scratch) and am always looking for a new gluten free vegetarian recipe to make Girlfriend try out. Tonight I stumbled upon this beauty Mr. Breakfast.com their motto is, "All Breakfast All The Time" which is essentially my food motto. I about crapped my pants when I found 130 recipes for waffles. Waffles people, 130 different ways to make waffles!!! Guess what I'm doing this weekend?!?!?!

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Schooled by an 8 year old

Conversation I overheard at the car rider line today with a Co-worker and Serious Child:

Co-worker:Wow Serious Child that's fantastic you got an A on your progress report!
Serious Child: Thank you. Mom was happy but I don't really like school that much.
Co-worker: Well for a kid who doesn't like school you sure do do great work.
Me: (snickering)
Serious Child: (shrugs shoulders) I guess.
Co-worker: (giggling) Did you hear what I said, you do do great work.

My co-worker and I then high-fived and giggled to each other.

Co-worker: Do do? You heard me right?
Me: Totally. That's why we are friends. Serious Child you don't find this funny at all do you?
Serious Child: No. You two are weird.

He then promptly walked away leaving us still giggling at do do and the realization that an eight year old is more mature than us. Whatever, he's missing out on the fun.

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Loser Alert

I have no shame (you probably know this already) and I am a huge loser. For WEEKS I have been telling (ok, annoying) Girlfriend about Snow Leopard. No, not the animal my PC readers. Snow Leopard is the new Mac operating system and it is just as fabulous as I was expecting. I am currently working with a MacBook Pro and it was pretty fast, but let's be real-it could be faster. On our way to a local college football game I dragged Girlfriend to the Apple store on Saturday and got the CD-only to remember that my computer was at my house and that I would have to wait another day to load it. Here's a little background-I'm a Mac, she's a PC...need I say more?
Dragging her to the Apple store is like her dragging me to GameStop. I stand around awkwardly, hoping no one asks me any questions, and I try and help by picking up things sayings, "What about this?" while she smiles and reassures me that we can go soon. While she's not a Mac person, she is a gadget person so it wasn't as bad as me at GameStop-but she was definitely out of her element. When I finally got to my place it took about an hour to install, a very LONG hour. Let me tell you readers, it was well worth the hour because the Snow Leopard Rocks!!! If you are a Mac person, go to the store, drop the $29 + tax because it's totally awesome. My computer starts up faster, everything loads faster and it shuts down as soon as I hit the button. I realize how ridiculous I sound but I don't care because it's the little things in life that make me happy.
Anyone else out there a Mac person and loving Snow Leopard? Anyone else in a Mac/PC relationship? I do everything I can to not use the computer at her house because I can't ever find what I'm looking for and she does the same. This is a typical conversation that happens at least once a week because of the Mac/PC thing:
Context-I'm in the kitchen, she's on the couch

Girlfriend: (while using my computer) SIGH
Me: (giggling) top left babe
Girlfriend: Yeah, I just remembered. Keep laughing and I'll drop this when I stand up
Me: Yeah yeah you say that every time
Girlfriend: And? You think I won't?
Me: (smiling) Nope.
Girlfriend: And why not?
Me: Because I'll cry like a baby and then you will be stuck dealing with me being a blubbering mess, which will then make you cry, and then we are THOSE people who cry all the time and that's just not us.
Girlfriend: You cry all the time anyway.
Me: Nu-uh! I'm tough!
Girlfriend: (choking back laughing) Yes, yes you are dear. You are very tough. No, really...I mean it. Do you need me to open that for you?
Me: (sheepishly) Yes please.

In conclusion: Snow Leopard Rocks. I'm tough. Really.