Thursday, October 28, 2010

Awesome, party of eight

Teachers at my school dressed up today for Halloween (there is no school tomorrow) and we have been learning about the light spectrum in science. The leprechaun in the front is my assistant principal. When he found out about our fun idea he wanted in on the fun!

P.S.-I'm the one in yellow, which I dyed myself in the sink last night!

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Girlfriendism Part 3

While looking at both of our dogs sitting on the floor:
"The little one looks like someone just stole his lollipop right out of his mouth."

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Girlfriendism Part 2

While sitting on the couch at home: "I found a muscle right here (pointing to side of shin) that I didn't know existed until our ridiculous hike across Georgetown. Now every time I take a step it shouts 'Stop Fucking Walking!!!!' "

Monday, October 25, 2010


In response to obnoxious teenagers shouting on the Metro: "The problem with public transportation is that the public is there." To which an older lady who overheard replied, "Amen. Damn kids."

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Some things I will never understand...

Yesterday Girlfriend and I sent out our "Save the Dates" for our upcoming wedding. Normally the mail here takes forever and a year but by some miracle everyone who lives in NC and is invited received their magnet today (awesome!) resulting in several happy texts/e-mails...and several hateful ones all from the same person.
Girlfriend said not to invite them, said they wouldn't come, said she knew for sure. She said, she said, she said. I didn't listen or believe her. I argued and guilted her into changing her mind. I made her invite them out of principle, out of respect, out of well...the right damn thing to do. I knew she was wrong. I knew they would change their mind. I knew they just needed some time after hearing the news. I knew, I knew, I knew. I was wrong.
Who sent her hateful messages? Who said she was enough of an embarrassment to the extended family already? Who said they had over 20 reasons why they couldn't attend? Who pleaded with her to call the wedding off? Who said she/we are making a huge mistake? Who said it was a terrible idea? Who would be so hurtful and hateful? Her father.
I simply cannot understand how a parent can be so hateful. My parents are ALL about this wedding. They are excited, telling their friends, wanting to be involved, and support our marriage-are mad that our license isn't valid in our home state and want us to move to where it would be recognized. Even if my parents didn't support our wedding and marriage, or even if they didn't love Girlfriend-they would be at my wedding. They would be there and they would keep their mouth's shut. They would be there because I. am. their. kid. Girlfriend's dad and I have politely gone toe-to-toe in the past. We have very different opinions on most things and while we have disagreed I at least respected him in his wrongness. However his texts were completely out of line and I will NEVER understand how a parent could ever turn their back on their child. He has one daughter (and a son) who is having her one wedding and he sent her HATEFUL text messages. She tried to act like it didn't bother her, like she wasn't surprised or hurt...but her eyes told a different story. I burst into tears apologizing for making her invite them, promising to listen to her about them in the future, and felt just awful. She just looked and me, shrugged her shoulders, and said, "I'm not surprised." It pained me to have her not be surprised at the things he said. I was more than surprised, I was SHOCKED. I mean, her dad has said mean things in the past but NOTHING compared to these texts. One thing he did get right was recognizing that their decision to not come (or rather their inability since they can't attend) will affect their future relationship and decisions. DAMN RIGHT. I will be making DAMN sure to call her my fiance and wife in his presence, to have our wedding pictures out in plain sight for them to see if they ever come to our home. I am always very polite and respectful to him, and I will continue to be since that's just how I was raised, but tonight I lost all respect for him.

Tuesday, October 12, 2010


There are few things more terrifying than hearing your baby is in danger to keep you up at night, worried out of your mind.

Girlfriend was playing with the boys in the yard when she watched B man slide his head, shoulders and front legs under the fence after a squirrel. THANKFULLY he came back when she called him but it shook me to my core. I was in a TOTAL funk after she told me and when I finally started to talk about my bad mood I lost it. I mean lost it. Tears, snotty nose, red splotchiness, grossness all around as I crumbled into a pile on the floor. The thought that if he got out he would be gone for good, compounded with the fact that all I've done at him the last two weeks is yell, was just too much for me. Girlfriend was super sweet, sat down on the ground next to me and reminded me that she did see the problem, he didn't get out, and everything (and everyone) is okay. Then she also reminded me that I have been yelling at him because he has been a butt lately, and not because I don't love him to pieces. Later that night I had forced snuggle time with B and reminded him AGAIN to not eat L's food. It has corn. He is allergic to corn. He will continue to be itchy and pink. Then I told him I loved him and to please not run away to chase a little creature because he will probably forget where he lives and be hungry and lost and not have his blankets or toys or treats or comfy beds or mommies to snuggle with when he wants some head scratching time. Girlfriend told me I was being slightly overprotective and overreactive. My response? If he gets out he's coming with me everywhere for the rest of his life and that I must hold on to him to make sure he is okay. B's response-jumping out of my lap and hiding behind Girlfriend. I also reminded her that I cried when I looked at his pictures from the first week I had him and realized that he was no longer a puppy but a "big boy" so she should not be surprised by my craziness.

The fence company is coming tomorrow to fix two spots where it has gotten messed up and B can escape. $200 well spent.

Wednesday, October 6, 2010


I told you I would have something to share that wasn't wedding related! In fact, I have two things!

1) Picture taken from a fourth grade classroom where they have been studying the natural resoucres of North Carolina. I can't make this shit up if I tried.
In case you can't read "child" it says: I made my map by using the facts they gave me, and my own knowledge. I learned that trees cover half of North Carolina.
Apparently this child is confusing trees for dildos, that or I am concerned about what his "own knowledge" may include. On the topic, don't you learn how to draw a tree at like 4 years old????

I took this picture of a leveled reader I found in the back of my classroom closet and the information card that goes with it. I shall ask you the same thing that I asked Girlfriend-Children's book...or gay porn?

Sunday, October 3, 2010

One little thing, okay two

Ok, so I realized that my last several posts have been wedding related and I PROMISE that I will resume posting hilarious things my students say/do as soon as they say/do something interesting. However, tonight Girlfriend and I finally agreed on invitations. We *shockingly* like two totally opposite styles: her-black and white, me-color, her-layers and stuff that opens, me-no layers, etc. We are making our own because we only need 12 and don't have a large budget. Here is the background we are using (we will print them on cream/ivory paper) since our "colors" are pale blue, brown and ivory. They became our "colors" by default. We are both going to wear ivory (super pale people don't look awesome in white), she wants blue hydrangea flowers, and I want a chocolate frosted cake. Girlfriend has put me in charge of invites but the "save the dates" (which I don't think we need but she really wants to have) are all her responsibility. This should get interesting...
Again, I PROMISE that this is not going to turn into some crazy wedding blog, but I have to get a little of this stuff out of my system. Oh, and before I forget we have slightly increased our total wedding guests to 23, not because my family wants me to, but because the more I talked, the more I cried, the more I cried the more unhappy I became, the more unhappy I was the more I realized that I wanted my family and our friends there. Girlfriend has no problem with this, her near exact quote was, "Didn't I tell you to invite them from the beginning? I just don't have any other family to invite. I just agreed with you to get you to stop talking about our feelings so I could watch TV."