Girlfriend said not to invite them, said they wouldn't come, said she knew for sure. She said, she said, she said. I didn't listen or believe her. I argued and guilted her into changing her mind. I made her invite them out of principle, out of respect, out of well...the right damn thing to do. I knew she was wrong. I knew they would change their mind. I knew they just needed some time after hearing the news. I knew, I knew, I knew. I was wrong.
Who sent her hateful messages? Who said she was enough of an embarrassment to the extended family already? Who said they had over 20 reasons why they couldn't attend? Who pleaded with her to call the wedding off? Who said she/we are making a huge mistake? Who said it was a terrible idea? Who would be so hurtful and hateful? Her father.
I simply cannot understand how a parent can be so hateful. My parents are ALL about this wedding. They are excited, telling their friends, wanting to be involved, and support our marriage-are mad that our license isn't valid in our home state and want us to move to where it would be recognized. Even if my parents didn't support our wedding and marriage, or even if they didn't love Girlfriend-they would be at my wedding. They would be there and they would keep their mouth's shut. They would be there because I. am. their. kid. Girlfriend's dad and I have politely gone toe-to-toe in the past. We have very different opinions on most things and while we have disagreed I at least respected him in his wrongness. However his texts were completely out of line and I will NEVER understand how a parent could ever turn their back on their child. He has one daughter (and a son) who is having her one wedding and he sent her HATEFUL text messages. She tried to act like it didn't bother her, like she wasn't surprised or hurt...but her eyes told a different story. I burst into tears apologizing for making her invite them, promising to listen to her about them in the future, and felt just awful. She just looked and me, shrugged her shoulders, and said, "I'm not surprised." It pained me to have her not be surprised at the things he said. I was more than surprised, I was SHOCKED. I mean, her dad has said mean things in the past but NOTHING compared to these texts. One thing he did get right was recognizing that their decision to not come (or rather their inability since they can't attend) will affect their future relationship and decisions. DAMN RIGHT. I will be making DAMN sure to call her my fiance and wife in his presence, to have our wedding pictures out in plain sight for them to see if they ever come to our home. I am always very polite and respectful to him, and I will continue to be since that's just how I was raised, but tonight I lost all respect for him.