Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Gripping the table for strength

Last night Girlfriend and I were talking over dinner and the topic of children came up. Here is a bit of what I remember...

Girlfriend: 22 months.
Me: Say what!
Girlfriend: tweeeennnntttttyyy-ttwoooooo mmmmmoooooooonnnnnnnnths.
Me: But, but, but we don't have enough money and my parents are still far away and did I mention money?
Girlfriend: One, we will never have enough money. Your argument is not valid. Two, your parents are moving here. Second argument is not valid. Twenty-two months and something needs to be growing in here (pointing to belly).
Me: WAIT! Growing in twenty-two months?!?! Not starting to try having something growing then? So that pushes the time to....um, have I mentioned I will be staying home the first year?
Girlfriend: (hysterical laughter) NO!
Me: Well it's not up for negotiation. I am not putting our six week old baby in day care. Not happening. At two they can go to daycare and I will go back to work. We would only have your income for a year, that's why I'm spazzing out over here.
Girlfriend: I'll keep looking online for other openings and you freaking out on me makes more sense now. Would you feel better if I pushed it to thirty-four?
Me: Thirty-four? What is thirty-four? I can't do that kind of math right now!
Girlfriend: I added twelve. Breathe and let go of the table.

I had to go and change my shirt because I had a serious case of the "freak out sweats" thinking about money and kids and money and money. Today I am doing much better. I realize that we truly will never have enough money but we will make it work. We then got into a very serious talk about children and church and her coming with me. It's really important to me that they go and make their own decisions as adults but we need to give them the opportunity to decide for themselves. She knows my faith is really important to me and gets mad at me when I skip church to sleep in. My argument is not that the children go, but that we need to go as a family. Her argument is that it can be the thing that I do with them and her thing will be taking them to the batting cages. Here is a bit of fun in an otherwise serious conversation that will be revisited later on (but resolved within the next twenty-two months):

Me: Then they can make the statement, "Why do I have to go and mom doesn't?"
Girlfriend: I'll tell them because their mother said so. That's the end of that conversation and debate. We both win. You have them in church and I'm home sleeping.
Me: Nope. You have to go too...because their mother said so. Haha I win!
Girlfriend: They have two mothers. Those statements cancel each other out like paper/paper in rock, paper, scissors.

9 comments:

weese said...

Don't wait. Jump in.
You are never ready....and its way more fun when you're not.
About the church thing.. my wife went to church with our son. I am not religious and so I did not attend (except for times when he was participating in something - then I would go to watch). This was perfectly acceptable in our family and our church. We raised our children to be individuals, just as their parents are individuals.
interesting to note that our son became very involved in the church...becoming president of the youth group and a deacon. our daughter... no interest.

crystal said...

Yay!! Im excited to hear more of these conversations over the next 22 months :) Congrats on the journey ahead of you!

CJ said...

Your conversations crack me up! Twenty two months, heh? Can I mark my calendar yet?!?!

The Surprise Dyke said...

Weese-Thanks for your thoughts on the church issue. It's a sensitive subject for everyone and I'm watching a friend's marriage struggle because they didn't talk about if they were going to raise their baby Catholic or Protestant before they got pregnant. It's created MAJOR arguments in their house and I am determined that we are going to work all that stuff out before there is even a zygote.

The Surprise Dyke said...

Crystal-I'm excited and terrified (more terrified than excited)

The Surprise Dyke said...

CJ-Go for it....Lord knows Girlfriend has!

EleanoreBla昭彥 said...

Learning makes life sweet.............................................................

Dragon said...

Hey why not, go for it. So now just to watch the blog for when you guys make the move.

The Surprise Dyke said...

Dragon-It will be a little while before there are any MAJOR changes around here :-)