Thursday, February 4, 2010

Back, back, back to school!

I'm sure if you've been following the special edition of "Ramblings of the surprise dyke trapped indoors and loosing her sanity" you will be able to fully appreciate how excited I was to go back today. Even better were my students who WANTED to be there-it was awesome. What was NOT awesome was that some of them lost their sanity and acted a damn fool requiring me to give several monologues about expectations. While some may have acted a damn fool at least they were listening:

Location: Cafeteria
Offense: jumping in seats and general damn foolishness
Perpetrators: Student 1 and Student 2

Me: I KNOW you know why I am standing here. Correct?
Students 1&2: (looking at the floor) Yes ma'am.
Me: Then tell me, why did I walk across the cafeteria, leave my delicious lunch that is now getting cold, and come to your table?
Student 1: Well, see what ha'happened-
Student 2:-Don't even try that she SAW us stupid.
Me: Hey! Hey! Hey! I'm standing right here!!!
Student 2: Sorry Miss _____. Sorry Student 1.
Student 1: It's cool. (looking at me) We've got ourselves under control. (nodding) Promise.
Me: Are you certain? Because if I have to come over here again...
Student 1: No, no, no that won't be necessary. We know better than to be THAT class in the cafeteria. After our routine was interrupted we lost control of our minds and self control for a minute. Trust us, we've found our brains.
Me: THAT class? What is THAT class?
Student 2: Mtttz. You know who we're talking about Miss ___. The one where you look and say, 'Can you believe THAT class acting a fool!?!?' We know better than to embarrass you like that 'cuz you will call our moms and embarrass us.
Student 1: Nu-uh!
Student 2: Chu-huh! She totally called my mom last year when I acted a fool in the cafeteria. AND she made me tell my mom what I did on the phone. It was bad man. Trust me, you don't want that to happen.
Student 1: Man.
Student 2: Seriously. Miss ____ don't play.
Me: And neither should you. Finish eating you only have five minutes left.
Students: Five minutes!
Me: Yup. That's what happens when you loose your minds and self control. I'm going back to my lunch which better not be cold or I'm giving you the long distance stink eye.
Students: (giggling)


Taylor said...

I freakin love your kids! Do they really talk like that? A kids taking responsibility for acting out would have never happened at my school. I was laughing to myself through the whole thing but I lost it at the long distance stink eye! My cat and my dad gave me the WTF? look when I laughed out loud.

The Surprise Dyke said...

Taylor-yes, yes they do but it's mostly my fault. There is an old post on here somewhere listing out the random things I say that the children have picked up on and now repeat. It's pretty awesome.

Taylor said...

TSD-I read that post and thought it was hilarious! I worked with a class of 4th graders my junior year of highschool and they started repeating some of the things I said or just they way I said certain words. They would act out during reading time if we were in the hall and I would tell them 'You don't wanna mess with me'. One kid's mom came for his birthday while I was there and they introduced me to her and said 'you don't wanna mess with her'. My face was beat red and the teacher was trying her hardest not to laugh. She had heard me telling the kids that but didn't think they would repeat it in that context.