Sunday, November 8, 2009

Holy Mother F*cker!

I've gotten used to living on my own, and have even come to enjoy it...that is until today. It all started when I went to make lunch (stuffed portobello mushrooms) and was chopping onions. They were slippery and I have a jacked up cutting board since the good ones didn't belong to me and I never got around to getting a new one. (If you don't know where this is going shame on you!) Do you ever have that moment where you know something bad is going to happen, but you can't stop yourself? Like you can tell it's going to be bad in your mind but your body won't cooperate? I sensed this was not going to end well and as that feeling came over me, the knife stabbed through the entire top of my index finger. Holy mother f*cker! It bled and bled and bled to the point where I took a picture and sent it to my mom (she's a paramedic) to find out how to fix it. She told me to go to acute care in case I needed stitches, but alas when I arrived they were closed. She then sent me to get gauze pads and roller gauze to fix it myself since I had bled through 3 bandaids. Here's something I didn't know I didn't know until about 20 minutes is damn near impossible to apply a gauze pad and wrap your own index finger, especially when it's the top half you have mutilated. Normally I would have had Girlfriend help but she's away visiting her Grandpa, so it's just me and the dog. It has finally stopped bleeding but hurts like a bitch now that I have taken the ice off it...and I'm still hungry because when all this happened I gave up on lunch. No Girlfriend, no lunch and I f*cked up my hand. What a shitty Sunday.


Jude said...

whoa...bad day for you, sorry. hope your finger gets to feeling better soon. ouch!

The Surprise Dyke said...

Jude-thanks! I sucked it up and went to Urgent Care where they glued the skin back together and gave me a tetanus shot since I didn't know when my last one was. Too bad they can't make the throbbing pain in my finger (and now my arm from the shot) go away!