Wednesday, January 20, 2010

I couldn't have made this up if I tried

It must be because today was our last required day of work for the week but my co-workers were in RARE form after all the children left. After car duty I was hanging out with several of my co-workers when the conversation took a very strange and (un)fortunate twist. I would like to share random excerpts with you. No, I am not going to give you context because isolation makes them more awesome. In case you are wondering yes-I totally sent all of these to Girlfriend AS THEY WERE BEING SAID. Enjoy!!!

"I wasn't fully sure about this but I thought, as long as she's cute like (insert another co-worker's name here) I'll be ok, you know? I'm all about being open to new things and stuff."

"And then Big Barb walked in! Lord knows I love the lesbians but REALLY did she have to be so butch!?!? And scary?"

"And some women have big fingers, no one prepared me for this."

"My vagina was scared. It was traumatic."

"I know she stopped listening to me because when I was done all my mom said on the phone was, 'You shave your twat?' I mean she totally missed the trauma I went through!"

"I watched a woman put her whole hand up my wife's vagina. My two fingers don't seem impressive anymore."

You're welcome readers :-)

10 comments:

Taylor said...

Wow, and here I thought the conversations we had about and fanfiction porn in my creative class were strange.
I thought the first one was pretty great but they just keep getting better!

Plans... What Plans!?! said...

Hmmmm.... Purely for the conversations... I think I would like to work where you work!!!!

Sounds like that moment will go in the memory books!!! LOL!!!

:-)

Vikki said...

Wow.

Dragon said...

LOL um ok. Nice! Talk about being a fly on the wall.

LilliGirl said...

Seriously? Did someone recently give birth?

The Surprise Dyke said...

Taylor-oh how I miss creative writing class discussions...

The Surprise Dyke said...

Plans-one of the rare benefits of working in the public school system

The Surprise Dyke said...

Vikki-Yup. That's pretty much all there is to say about that.

The Surprise Dyke said...

Dragon-I think even the flies were a little scared

The Surprise Dyke said...

LilliGirl-YES!!!!! One person was talking about their husband's reaction while they were in labor. The rest were comments related to people's first (or most terrifying) experiences at the gynecologist. See, with context they instantly became less awesome statements.