Day 2...

Yesterday I made cookies and several of you requested the recipe. I am more than happy to share, but I cannot take credit-I found it at Simply Gluten Free. It makes 2 dozen cookies-Mix 1 cup of peanut butter with 1 cup of sugar. In a separate bowl mix 1 egg, 1 teaspoon of baking powder and 1 teaspoon of vanilla. Mix this into the peanut butter mixture. Scoop 1 tablespoon of batter into your hands, roll into a ball and roll in sugar. Last do the criss-cross thing with a fork to flatten them out. Bake at 350 for 10 minutes and let them rest on the cookie sheet for 5 minutes before moving to a cooling rack (don't try and move them before this, they will mush all apart). Finally, take a picture before your Girlfriend eats them all!

Today we were snowed in again and here is a recap of our day:

We began our day with watching Public Enemies and since B wanted to snuggle right in the middle, we messed with his hair. We can't help it, he has GREAT hair! Which one is your favorite?

This one is my masterpiece titled: B from Whoville.

This one is Girlfriend's masterpiece titled: B the alien.

After the movie and hairstyling it was time for B to go play in the snow. Poor baby, he kept sinking down into it with every few steps but after a while he just took to jumping like a bunny.

After playing in the snow it was nap time again...these snow days sure do take it out of you!

I've already received the message that school is canceled tomorrow and we are waiting on Girlfriend to hear word from her work. I'll keep you updated on our exciting days.

Total Boo-shit

I left the north. I didn't want ass loads of snow anymore. This is total boo-shit.

Even worse is that it is still falling, only now instead of snow we have sleet. Fabulous.

One bright part of the day is that I tried out a new peanut butter cookie recipe for Girlfriend (they happen to be her favorite) and they turned out AWESOME!!!! There would be more but she kept eating them off the cooling rack. Good thing they are super duper easy to make!

It's how we roll

For those of you who may be new, or may have forgotten, this is how we roll in my classroom:

Boy student: Miss ____, how do you spell line?

Me: What?!?!

Boy student: How do you spell line?

Me: Line? As in don't talk in line?

Boy student: (smacking his lips together) Mttttz. Nah, not that word.

Girl student: He means LION. Like Miss _____ is tough like a lion and is going to eat choo.

Boy student: Yeah! Yeah! That word!

Me: OH! L-I-O-N. (Grabbing his shoulders) RAWR!

Boy student: (not flinching at all) I'm not scared. Even if you were a lion you wouldn't eat me.

Me: You're not scared of me? You should be scared of me. I'm hungry.

Boy student: Pshht. I've ain't scared of you. You won't eat me. You're a veg-e-tarian...I would only be scared if I was a carrot stick.

His finished project for our class book of similes: Miss _____ is tough like a lion but don't be scared unless you are a carrot stick. Complete with a picture of me attacking a carrot.

Yup. That's how we roll in my class.

She's corny but I love her

I was on the phone with Girlfriend today and we were talking about her moving and all the *fun* details that go into that. Some background updates: we've had some problems with her dad about her stuff coming here, and I mean major problems. He was fine with all of it, and then he wasn't. I mean WASN'T in a big big way-to the point where he would rather her get rid of her stuff then move it here. On one level I get it-he's watched his daughter get her heart broken before, he's worried, etc. but on a different level I'm like-back the f*ck up. It was at the point where I thought that he and I were going to have *words* about his attitude this weekend. Girlfriend and I had accepted that we temporarily lost this fight and would just move all of her stuff in the dead heat of the summer and end all the fighting. Enough background. Tonight she calls me and here is a recap of our conversation:

Girlfriend: Ready for my stuff to be there next weekend?

Me: Um we lost that battle remember?

Girlfriend: I don't know what happened between last time Dad and I met and tonight but he has backed down. Like for the first time ever. About anything.

Me: Seriously?

Girlfriend: Yup. He said storage is going to be too expensive, (my name here) has the space and if this ends and she takes all your stuff at least it wasn't worth anything.

Me: I'm glad he has confidence in us darling.

Girlfriend: Whatever. Ignore him and focus. What's important is that we won! I can't believe we won!

Me: I'm a little in shock myself, but very happy.

Girlfriend: My stuff is going where I want it to go, I'm going to save up for a few months and get back on my feet and then we can begin our journey on this thing called life together.

Me: Really?

Girlfriend: (laughing) Yes. I really did just say that. I even did a big arm sweep that you couldn't see over the phone.

Me: You are special kind of corny right now. A mix of a greeting card, lifetime movie, dove chocolate promise and after school special all rolled into one.

Girlfriend: I love that you act as if this is somehow new information for you.

Me: Not new, just a new level of special.

I couldn't have made this up if I tried

It must be because today was our last required day of work for the week but my co-workers were in RARE form after all the children left. After car duty I was hanging out with several of my co-workers when the conversation took a very strange and (un)fortunate twist. I would like to share random excerpts with you. No, I am not going to give you context because isolation makes them more awesome. In case you are wondering yes-I totally sent all of these to Girlfriend AS THEY WERE BEING SAID. Enjoy!!!

"I wasn't fully sure about this but I thought, as long as she's cute like (insert another co-worker's name here) I'll be ok, you know? I'm all about being open to new things and stuff."

"And then Big Barb walked in! Lord knows I love the lesbians but REALLY did she have to be so butch!?!? And scary?"

"And some women have big fingers, no one prepared me for this."

"My vagina was scared. It was traumatic."

"I know she stopped listening to me because when I was done all my mom said on the phone was, 'You shave your twat?' I mean she totally missed the trauma I went through!"

"I watched a woman put her whole hand up my wife's vagina. My two fingers don't seem impressive anymore."

You're welcome readers :-)

Attention world

Attention World-I would like to make an announcement and clarify something that I am tired of hearing and experiencing. If you are taking out your issues, your problems and your drama out on me, yet I did not cause said issues, problems or drama do NOT under any circumstances tell me it's not personal. You've just made it personal. You have unnerved "my person" and when I retaliate, bite your head off and make you deal with my issues, problems and drama which you have caused to exist-remember: don't take it personal.

Stupid Ass Science Fair

Tonight I am a little punchy. This week has been all testing all the time at work which makes for five days that suck ass. On top of that we have off Monday (awesome!) but our science fair projects are due on Tuesday morning (total bullshit!) Guess who hasn't started a project with her class yet?!?! Guess who doesn't really give a shit about science fair?!?! I'm sorry but it is WAY more important to me that my kids were prepared for the tests this week than having a stupid project board done-which by the way they don't really do. My assistant is putting it together after school tomorrow. I googled "Science Fair projects in 24 hours" yesterday when I realized that I was shit out of time and came up with one where you test how much liquid is in different types of fruits. My students and I weighted oranges, apples and bananas in class today and made predictions about what percent would be liquid. Tonight as you can see "we" are finishing the experiment and collecting "our" data in the morning. So basically I am doing MY science fair project tonight (like all great procrastinators) and would like to factor in an additional variable to our data...alcohol. I am definitely drinking while doing this and make no apologies about it. I've dried the oranges and apples already and they are doing well but the bananas are a different story. Here's hoping I don't fuck this up in the eleventh hour...

Conversation with my mom

I'd like to remind everyone that I heart my mom. I just spent over an hour and a half chatting with her about many things including (but not limited to) when I could come visit, Girlfriend's financial situation, her moving in this summer, when my mom started going gray (I've been finding gray hair and she said she just started going gray a few years ago...I'm call shenanigans on that), mortgage/property taxes stuff, etc. Talking with her for so long made me miss them more and really wish they lived closer. They are going to come down and visit me around Easter instead of have me travel to them because they have a little more flexibility in terms of work days and time available. This right here is just another example of why I know I'm lucky:

Mom: I'm glad that Girlfriend's stuff will already be there when we come visit.

Me: Really? Why's that?

Mom: So there will be a real bed for me to sleep in and not just air mattresses. I'm too old for that shit.

Me: Her couch has a bed in it too.

Mom: Yup, she's definitely a keeper.

Me: I agree. I'm glad that you like her.

Mom: I do. I knew she was a kind and caring person with a good heart when I first met her. She loves her dog, she loves your dog, and it's obvious to everyone that she really loves you. I couldn't be more pleased with who you are spending your life with.

Big talk, big decisions, big changes

There are big talks, big decisions and big changes occurring here in my home. Girlfriend and I had a big talk about her moving here this summer and what to do with her stuff while she's staying with her dad. She is going to bring the stuff she won't need here, since it's coming here anyway and it seemed stupid to move her stuff to a storage unit, then move it here a few months later. This then led into the topic of our double stuff. We each have living room furniture, vacuums, etc. all of which created a second conversation-what to do with all our double stuff? It seems silly to keep double of everything, so what do we do? Neither one of us has been in this situation before. I went from living in a dorm to living with my (former) roommate for six years to now being on my own. She went from living in a dorm/apt. to living with her ex, to living on her own. For the first time I started to get sweaty. I'm not sure what happened, but I found myself feeling my heart race, my body sweating and struggling to keep myself composed in public. Even though we've talked about her moving in, I think the discussion of choosing between whose stuff to use somehow made it real. No, I'm not changing my mind or chickening out, but it's still scary. Big changes are coming this way, and as scary as they are, I'm ready to walk headfirst right into it. I leave this short (but heavy) post with a fun excerpt from our conversation over coffee tonight:

Me: What did your dad say when you told him?

Girlfriend: He was fine with it. He agreed that it should give me enough time to get my shit together.

Me: You know that I don't need you to have your shit together right?

Girlfriend: You don't want some broke mother fucker moving into your house.

Me: You're right. I don't want just ANY broke mother fucker moving in. You are a different story and I think I'll keep your broke ass around. We've already established I'm not with you for your credit.

Girlfriend: Nope, that's why I keep you around. Love you!

Me: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Sunshine after the rain

I want to start by thanking so many of you again for your words, I cannot fully express how much it meant to have your love and support when going through such a hard time. After much time in prayer, hard conversations and tears things are starting to get better.

The pain of losing my grandma is simply one that is going to take time, so I'm not going to pretend that I'm all better because I'm not. I do however know that things will get better with time and it's a process I simply have to go through. Thankfully I have a loving support system here, back home with my family and with you all on the internet.

Girlfriend and I had very long, very hard and very much needed conversation. One we had to wait several days to have because it simply was not one we could have over the phone. She's going to move in with her dad for a couple of months and then move in here, she wants to have a cushion to help out and not feel like she's not contributing. This is something I had not even thought about because I want to take care of her, but I respect her for this. Even though on the rare occasion an issue from her past pops up, we are stronger than ever. I was shocked to hear things her dad told her when she informed him that I gave her the option of moving here. He's actually acknowledged that we are in a relationship, AND that he and his wife really like and respect me (my jaw dropped open when she told me that) and he's comfortable with her moving in with me once she gets back on her feet.

Last of all my health stuff that is going on. This morning (right as I was getting dressed to be in a wedding in another city...awesome timing) my period started. I'm still going to go to the doctor to make sure everything is okay since I didn't get it for three months but I feel a lot better (mentally, physically I still feel "off") now that at least it's back this month.