Jumpy Jitters

I'm getting married in 44 days...and some pretty important stuff still has to be done!

I'm beginning to get some jumpy jitters, and while I am NOT having cold feet...I am silently freaking out inside. Here is what is making my insides jumble around like-well I don't know because I don't have a simile at the moment. I'm too busy being freaked out.

[Listed in order of how worried/freaked out/jumpy I am...not necessarily in rational or essential order]

1. Pulling this sh*t off

I'm not worried, nervous or scared about being married. I am worried, nervous and scared about pulling off the wedding. There is a lot of crap to get done in a very short period of time, little details such as who is picking up the flowers from the florist still need to be decided. Unfortunately some things won't be able to be taken care of until the day before which is quite nerve-racking.

2. Changing my name

I decided to change my name after we get married. I want our family to have one last name, call me crazy but I want that. Unfortunately it's not looking like it's going to be very easy. I talked with the county clerk and because our marriage won't be recognized in our home state they told me I should call a lawyer to see what I should do. There is always the option of a court order change, but I don't want that to happen. I was fine with the court change until I found out if I do that everything changes...including my birth certificate. I can't change my birth certificate. To do that would be to say that I never existed, that I am somehow turning my back on my parents, erasing who I was and am. I want it to change from this point on, not my entire history. I'm waiting on a lawyer to get back to me on if there is any way around this, because I really really really don't know if I can go through with the court order change. Girlfriend by the way does not care at all. Her thoughts-you want to change it, change it. You don't want to, don't. It's your name, you decide.

3. My dress still needs to be altered

I know, I know, I know this should be like worry #1 but it's not. I have a date scheduled to have it altered, and that has been 3/4 of the battle. What I don't have are shoes...yeah, I know that's important too. I'd get some this weekend but we already have plans, maybe some day next week after work I'll get a pair...or at least start looking since my dress is being altered next Friday!