Halloween Hilarity

On Halloween Girlfriend and I headed out to our favorite (predominantly male) gay club for some drag queen and costumed festivities. While people watching at the bar a VERY VERY drunk man came over and started chatting with us. He was wearing a cheerleader uniform that said "Queer Leader" on the front and carrying a big lady gaga style light up wand.

Here are some snippets from our conversation:

Drunken Leader: Women! Are you ladies here for a bachelorette party?

Girlfriend: Nope.

Drunken Leader: Oh, ok. Is this your first time here?

Girlfriend: No. We've been here many times before.

Drunken Leader: That's great! For a bachelorette party tonight?

Girlfriend: Nope. Just Halloween.

He kept rambling on about how he likes hanging out with women, loves ladies-but not like that, how we were all looking so pretty tonight, etc. At one point he left us for a brief minute because he was distracted by a guy covered head to toe in glitter dancing up on unsuspecting people.

Girlfriend: Oh man! I cannot believe this!

Me: What? What?

Girlfriend: He thinks we're straight.

Me: Seriously?

Girlfriend: Seriously.

Me: How is that possible? Look at us!!

Girlfriend: He is REALLLLLLLY drunk.

This is what we looked like people. How drunk would you have to be to not put 2 and 2 together? No, we were not wearing masks, but that's pretty much what our faces looked like (minus the yellow and red skin)

He came back and again a third time he asked us if we were all single or celebrating a bachelorette party. Girlfriend explained how our other friends were single, but we were a couple.

His eyes grew HUGE as the drunken wheels in his brain turned. Then he opened his mouth...."OH, you're lesbians! I LOVE lesbians! You know, I'm gay too." He said with his hands on his hips and head tilted to the side while shifting all of his weight to one leg in his little Queer Leader skirt. All we could do was laugh, look at one another and say, "We love Halloween!"