Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Homo Neurotic

So I'm slightly (ok, let's be real....highly) neurotic about certain things.  I have a moderate case of OCD (self-diagnosed but affirmed by everyone who knows me) and can be described as "particular" about random things.  I am fully aware of this.  I recognize this.  I accept this.  I am also fully aware, recognize and accept that I need to ease people into what I call "The Crazy" so they don't run like hell-as sane people should.  

I am slowly easing Girlfriend into "The Crazy" and things have gone well.  Parts of "The Crazy" she now knows:
1) I can't be late to places.  Can. Not. Be. Late.  I don't care that Girlfriend is always late.  Her internal clock runs about 10-15 minutes slower than the rest of the world.  As long as I am not late and making her (or anyone) wait, I'm good.  She thinks it's strange that I will get somewhere 10-15 minutes early just in case, but accepts it.  She also knows I will lie to her and tell her we need to be somewhere 30 minutes earlier than we actually do so she will be on time.
2) I have created assigned spots for people to sit during meals at work and at home.  Do. Not. Sit. In. My. Seat.  I can't eat.  I don't know why, but it just is...don't judge, don't question, just accept.  

Tonight she got introduced to another element of "The Crazy" when she went grocery shopping with me.  We met halfway for dinner and after dinner I had to get some tree-hugger food at the local Whole Foods.  Now, I know I'm strange when it comes to the grocery store.  I know this.  I was slightly hesitant when she asked if she could come with me, simply because this is a big part of "The Crazy" and it's still early in the relationship.  Here is how the conversation went when the subject came up:

Girlfriend: Is it okay if I come with you to Whole Foods?
Me: I'd love your company but, um...are you sure?
Girlfriend: Why do you have a weird routine?   (gasp) You totally do!  Oh I'm coming, but don't worry I will stay out of your way.  Promise. 
Me: Ok, if you are sure.  I mean you are going to experience "The Crazy" at the grocery store eventually.

Yup, she laughed at "The Crazy" that she experienced tonight.  Hell I laugh at "The Crazy" when it comes to the grocery store.  Now that I have thoroughly intrigued you with what "The Crazy" at Whole Foods consists of, here are a few elements:
1) I have to go up and down every isle-if I need something there or not starting from the right side of the store to the left
2) I have a list and must get each item in the order of it being on the list (most times things are listed out from one side of the store to the other with an occasional backtrack)
3) Dry and cold things must be separated in the top and bottom baskets
4) I put things in the cart emphatically...I'm not mad, just on a mission
5) I talk to myself...extensively...after about six items she realized I was having the conversation with myself and stopped answering...

As we were putting the groceries into my car I looked at her and said, "So?" She said to me, "It's a little weird but I'm not surprised at all.  Your routine is cute and you make me laugh...in a good way."

14 comments:

sheA said...

Hey JerSEEEEEE- this post convinces me that we are in fact sistas from another mutha....AND may I repeat the AwwWWwwWWWWwwWW from my lat comment- the two of you are so dang cute....AND I am working on a new post, its been a while so I am trying to organize...but it will prolly be soon...AND I heart you!!!!! ox xo

Propane Amy said...

It's gotta be love. i will admit that I am kinda the same way. i have to go up and down every isle no matter what. And i seperate the groceries.... makes it easier to bag later, right? I keep telling myself that.

Jude said...

Sounds like you have a very sweet girlfriend.

I understand the can't be late. I'm like that too. It's ingrained in me from my Mother.

lesbo said...

you. crack. me. up.
i wish i could witness you at whole foods!

Carolyn said...

haha you make me laugh too in a good way.

I <3 your crazy

Diane said...

funny, quirky stuff, and very human. (am an adhd'er, and have an ocd'er at home, which as you can guess provides us with hours of hilarity.)

you two sound like keepers :)

The Surprise Dyke said...

Shea-I'm going through Shea story withdrawals.....I'll be stalking (I mean checking) your page for an update! oxox back-atcha :-)

The Surprise Dyke said...

Propane Amy-It totally makes sense, I bring a freezer bag and a regular canvas bag...It is totally normal, it is totally normal, it is totally normal....

The Surprise Dyke said...

Jude-I definitely lucked out with her :-) Mine comes from my mom too, we were always early but my girl (and her mom) are always late

The Surprise Dyke said...

Lesbo-I. do. what. I. can. :-)

The Surprise Dyke said...

Carolyn-Thanks! :-)

The Surprise Dyke said...

Diane-ADHD and OCD, I wish I could be a fly on that wall...

beans said...

It is very nice to know I am not the only one with seriously weird (sorry) habits . . .especially at the whole foods. I think they are used to my weird ways and just let me be . . .my partner hates shopping with me as i also have to go in the exact same order from right to left, and damn the isles that go all sort of ways at the trader joes kill me . . .

i also have to have the shampoo and conditioner at the same level or it drives me batty . . .

oh well, good that we can keep our partners smiling and thinking about what whack-jobs they have come to know and love!

The Surprise Dyke said...

Beans-never apologize...my habits are very weird. We are lucky to have ladies that can see past "The Crazy" aren't we? :-)