Mom: So, what did you do today?
Me: Mow the grass, then took a shower.
Mom: Anything else?
Me: Um, I ate a sandwich....
As an avid list maker, here is my Spring Break list of daily activities:
Monday: Buy shirts for work, see Girlfriend for dinner
Tuesday: Take dog to the vet
Wednesday: Go to optometrist for new contacts, see Girlfriend for dinner
Thursday: Mow the grass
Friday: Get car washed, see Girlfriend for weekend plans
Saturday: Girlfriend is in charge ('cuz it's my birthday weekend!)
Sunday: work in nursery, bitch about going back to work tomorrow (secretly excited)
For those of you slackers out there, just a reminder you have 2 days left before your taxes are due...the gov't is broke and you better believe they will be looking for you and your money this year! Girlfriend FINALLY did her taxes yesterday (I've been hounding her daily since I found out she hadn't done them) and our conversation last night went something like this:
Girlfriend: Guess what I'm doing?
Me: Um, eating?
Girlfriend: Nope. Doing my taxes.
Me: Good job!
Girlfriend: Yup, so you can stop complaining.
Me: Hey, I just don't want to come visit you when they haul your ass away.
Girlfriend: You wouldn't come visit me?
Me: No, I totally would, I just would rather come visit you at your house, not the big house.
Girlfriend: No worries. I'd become someone's bitch so it would be all good.
Me: No way! You are nobody's bitch but mine.
Girlfriend: Awww, you just called me your bitch. That's adorable!
Me: Yes I did and don't you forget it. OOO, Hallmark should jump on the bandwagon and make a card for that one, something like "Taxes were due today, the gov't hauled you away. The state is broke, it was no joke." Then on the inside, "While you are doing time, you're nobody's bitch but mine. Yes I said it, and don't you forget it."
Me: I'm just saying...