Saturday, July 26, 2008

Heterosexual Privilege

Normally, I would be the last one to talk about the "heterosexual privilege" because honestly a lot of times it think it's just people who are crying, "poor me, I'm being picked on, waa waa waa."  However, after attending a wedding today the feelings are fresh in my mind and I am angry.  If you are thinking, "oh, just another lesbian who's angry she can't get married."  You are wrong.   This angry lesbian has no desire to be married anytime soon or in the distant future.  I guess it's the events that took place at the wedding reception and not the actual ceremony today that did it for me.  My dear friend who got married today took a different approach to the traditional bouquet/garder toss.  Instead, she and her husband had all the married couples dance to a song.  During the song the DJ would announce, "If you have been married less than ___ years please leave the dance floor."  until there was only one couple left who had been married 38 years.  I thought it was a lovely thing, because the long married never get to get the bouquet, and it also alleviates the highly awkward situation of pointing out the single women (as if there is something wrong with them) to catch a bouquet hoping they will be the next to get married (assuming that it is the desire of all single women.)  However, during the dance it got me thinking about couples who aren't married, but happily together for many years.  Is their relationship any less loving because it is either not recognized by the state, or for various reasons they choose not to be legally married?  I rarely view people in situations as having a "heterosexual privilege" but today my eyes were opened to the closed view of others.  It is just assumed that all people are straight, any only straight relationships are worth recognizing or have value.  Let's be honest...while everything may look peachy-keen on the outside, lots of straight people stay married when there is infidelity, abuse, etc. for lots of reasons (children, financial security, denial, etc.) yet their relationships (good or bad) are elevated above any committed, loving homosexual relationships.

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