Replacement

Grumpy Gus is being replaced tonight with Positive Pollyanna. While there are many many things that suck, there are also things that are inherently awesome. I bring my top six to you tonight.

Things that are awesome:

1) Rainbow cookies. This may be a regional thing so for those of you who know what I'm talking about move on to #2, all others let me further expand. They are the most delicious cookies that melt in your mouth. Look at the picture and salivate.

2) Snuggly pets. That's B. He's awesome. This you should already know.

3) Dusting. Unexpected company coming over in 5 minutes and the house is a mess? Dust a table. You have a super power to make a room look spotless in 10 seconds...if only it lasted past company.

4) Just Because Flowers. Nothing is better than a random I love you flower from the person you love. (This one is from Girlfriend because quote "I just wanted to watch you smile from the kitchen.")

5) New shoes. They're clean, they smell good, and the inside are squishy pillows for your toes.

6) Making things from scratch. Creating something from "nothing" is a very cool skill. Not only does this make YOU awesome, when you feed others something you made from scratch they tell you you are awesome.

7) Compliments. (See #6)

Things that suck and why

I'm done saying I'm sorry for the month of February. I've maxed out my quota of those words and to go along with the "Negative Nancy" kind of day I've had I've made a list (because that's how I roll) of things that suck and why. Feel free to add to it in the comment section.

Things that suck and why:

1) Getting water in your shoe. As soon as 1 itty-bitty droplet of water gets in there it's Squeaksville for you all day.

2) Dropping a lollipop on the floor. The 5 second rule cannot save your delicious treat.

3) Burning cookies in the oven. Smell of cookies baking is awesome and dissipates in.05 seconds. Smell of burnt cookies lingers forever in your home.

4) Forecasting snow and ice. I thought the earth was melting or something like that? Everything around me is f*cking frozen.

5) Paper cuts. How can something so tiny and not bleeding hurt so G-D much?

6) Forgetting passwords. No, the "clue" is not helpful either thank-you-very-much.

7) Shaving in winter. Thanks chilly breeze, I just wasted 15 minutes of my life for nothing.

8) The aftermath of crying. You'll still have those bloodshot eyes and puffy face two hours later.

9) People saying, "Bless You" before you sneeze. You think you're soooooo funny don't you? Just wait....

Visiting the relatives, or something like that

This past weekend Girlfriend invited me to tag along while she went to visit her grandpa. I brought B, as we are a package deal. The trip began with let's just say a rocky start. Explanation below.

While riding in the car on the way to see Avatar in 3D (p.s. It's awesome!)

Me: I know we're leaving after the movie but what time are we heading back tonight?

Girlfriend: You know we're staying the night, right?

Me: What?!?!

Girlfriend: We're coming back tomorrow.

Me: But, but, but....you said we were going on Saturday.

Girlfriend: We are. We're going on Saturday and coming back Sunday.

Me: (deep long breath)

Girlfriend: Sorry? I love you?

Me: It's fine. B may be eating Q's food because since you didn't tell me I'm not sure that I packed him enough for two days.

Once we got there everything was fine, however-Girlfriend ALSO neglected to tell me that her grandpa lives in the middle of f*cking NOWHERE. We were surrounded by nothing but flatness, passed a total of two traffic lights and ate at one of two restaurants in the area. Let me paint a picture here for you: we drove from his house a solid twenty minutes where we were the only car on the road (unless you count the f*cking tractor we got caught behind) where we turned onto another desolate road when eventually led to a restaurant and nothing else. When we were in the parking lot of the restaurant I handed her my wallet from my back pocket and told her to stick it in her purse because I felt slightly unsafe and "too gay" for the location. I'm not against rural areas, but I am not designed to live (or visit) there either. On another note her grandpa was wonderful and very welcoming to me and B, who he liked but wondered quote, "Is he ever still? What is left for him to sniff?"

On Sunday we went "visiting" the rest of the relatives which was an adventure I was not fully prepared for but turned out fine. Oh! Oh! BEST part-while we were at Girlfriend's great aunt's house she kept insisting that we had met before, several years ago at the funeral for Girlfriend's grandma. As much as Girlfriend and her mom tried to get this woman to let it go, she was just not having it. Insisting that I somehow looked familiar, and must have visited in the past, wondering if I had done some different with my hair, etc. I thought it was hilarious watching Girlfriend and her mom squirm trying to get this sweet old lady to shut the hell up. Walking to the car Girlfriend's mom grabbed my arm and said, "Um yeah...sorry about that." Climbing in the backseat Girlfriend looked down sheepishly and said, "So, um yeah....sorry about that." I burst into laughter at the whole situation which made them feel better.