Saturday, May 14, 2011
79 words. That's what it took to go from me to we, from single to married. 79 life changing words. Everyone at work keeps asking if I feel different, and honestly I don't know how to answer them. On one hand we've been married a week today-that's not much time to change, to develop a "married" identity. On another hand my wife fell and sprained her ankle our first day of marriage (that's what she gets for being nice and carrying her brother's bag to his taxi) and I was searching the only CVS near us for things she needed. They were out of cold packs. I. Lost. My. Shit. I burst into tears in CVS over cold packs. It sounds crazy but I had this enormous weight on my shoulders to care for her, protect her, provide for her. All I could think was that I made a vow to support and care for her and on day one I failed. My mom (who came with her paramedic bag from her hotel down the street) brought me back to reality that regular old ice would be just as effective, but I guess in that moment I felt "different." I loved her with all my heart before, but now there is a weight I carry. It's a weight I can't fully explain in words-but there is no denying it exists. I've been told by my friends that marriage changes thing, and while I don't necessarily feel different, I have changed.