Thanksgiving Blows

I have decided that Thanksgiving blows. I know, I know, I was quite excited yesterday and have had a dramatic shift in attitude. I am currently sitting at home by myself (and two dogs, one cat, one turtle) while Girlfriend is off with her family. No, I was not un-invited and no we did not have a fight or anything like that. I am sick. I realized today if you get sick on Thanksgiving not only do you miss all the delicious food that day, but you also miss out on the delicious leftovers you take home. Here are the things that I will be coveting and missing while I am eating soup:

1) Spinach quiche

2) Sweet potatoes (prepared any way-my favorite is with the marshmallows on top)

3) Rutabagas

4) Green beans (not casseroled-that has glutens in it)

5) Pumpkin pie (crustless) with homemade whipped cream

6) Cranberry sauce (jelly can style)

7) Mashed potatoes

8) Butternut squash

I made a decision several hours ago and texted Girlfriend who supports this idea-I will make Thanksgiving dinner throughout the week with several (not all) of the things I am missing today. I've debated making 1-2 things each night and having that, or scale it down to the essentials and have it in one night. I'm also going to invite my neighbors over because he is working and she is home sick too. It blows missing all that deliciousness and I will not tolerate being left out, even if it does require eating on different days.

So to anyone else who may be sick today and missing out, don't be controlled by the day and make your meal when you feel better and can enjoy all the tasty-goodness.

Inappropriate level of sharing

I'm going to share at an inappropriate level today. This is your warning.

Conversation between Girlfriend and myself late at night in bed.

Me: Sorry about that. However, it was totally your fault.

Girlfriend: HOW was that my fault.

Me: I'm. Not. Left. Handed.

Girlfriend: [crickets] Oh yeah. (laughing) Well, I couldn't wait any longer.

In other unrelated news, Girlfriend is at work today and I am baking gluten free spinach quiche and chocolate chip cookies to bring to Grandpa's house tomorrow. Fun times in the country with the future in-laws! Happy Thanksgiving everyone :-)

A cookie and a dream

It started with a cookie. Not just any cookie. A flaky, tender, melt in your mouth and leave crumbs everywhere kind of cookie. As you probably remember from the other day's baking disaster that gluten free can be way too challenging and way too overwhelming sometimes. Nevertheless I was DETERMINED to make strudel, but first I shifted my sights to something a little different, a little out of the ordinary, a little delight called rugelach. It's a regional thing so it may be unfamiliar to you depending on where you live. They were some awesome that Girlfriend ate 2 of the 18 the batch made right that night and there were none left in the morning for her to bring to work...oops. But seriously, look that them!

After my cookie success I decided to try my hand again at making strudel, this time with the rugelach dough. Was it exactly like my great-grandma use to make? No. Was it perfect? No. Was it freaking delicious and a fabulous starting point? Yes!

Here's to a satisfied me with a full Girlfriend who gets to sample my various strudels in the hopes of making gluten free happiness :-)

Labels and Limitations

I've been wanting to post about this for a while but have had difficulty getting my thoughts coherent, my ideas concise, and my opinions clear. Who knows if this will make much sense or if I stand alone in my sentiments. I've noticed (and experienced) a shift in the desire to label oneself, to identify, to claim an identity and try as I might, I don't understand. I'm not talking about the labels of femme, butch, androgynous, top, bottom, etc. The more basic, primary labels of gay, lesbian or bisexual. Not only is there this shift to no label oneself but also a judgement (What am I doing? Judging, but this is not about me.) at those who do label themselves my responding with things like, "I'm not into labels." or "I'm attracted to the person, not their gender." or my personal favorite, "Why would I want to limit myself?" Now I get (and agree) that labels can be restricting, and I also get (and agree) that labels often have unwanted connotations HOWEVER I have some issues with these responses. Let's take a look at each one and break down my issues.

"I'm not into labels." *Least irritating response*

Okay, fine, whatever. I'm not talking about giving me all the subset groups you could possibly be categorized into,I just want to know who you would like to be set up with/interested in dating out of the general population.

"I'm attracted to the person, not their gender." *Moderately irritating response*

Well aren't you special. When you really examine this response, it makes no sense. OBVIOUSLY you are attracted to specific people. This goes along with the long held-completely ass backwards idea that all gay men are attracted to all men, all lesbians are attracted to all women, and all of society should be afraid of bisexuals because they want to sleep with everyone. Part of the reason that I'm attracted to Girlfriend IS her gender. I love the way women feel, the soft smoothness of their skin. The way they smell after a shower when their skin and hair have that intoxicating combination of body wash, lotion and conditioner. The curves of their body and how they know they are beautiful and have something to offer without arrogance just pride and confidence in who they are as a person. How they can be strong and sensitive, nurturing and powerful or everything in between all at the same time. Their gender IS attractive to me.

"Why would I want to limit myself?" or "I don't want to limit myself." *I am punching you in the face in my mind*

This one REALLY pisses me off (as if you could not tell already) and it took me a while to figure out why I had such a strong-and violent-reaction. I'm not "limiting myself" by only dating women, I'm being authentic to my feelings and true to myself. It's not "limiting" if it's who you are attracted to and want to be with in a relationship. It is "limiting" when you are trying to please everyone else or don't know what you want for yourself. As someone who dated men for far too long in order to please other people, dating women isn't limiting myself, it's freedom.

Please tell me in the comments below-do you agree with me? Disagree? I'm curious if I'm missing something in these statements.

Frustration almost beyond words...

I miss regular food. Most of the time it's not a big deal and I've learn to adapt most recipes to make them gluten free. There is one beloved food however that has escaped this power: apple strudel. I f*cking LOVE apple strudel, so imagine my excitement when I found a recipe for a gluten free dough for strudel. For three hours I worked on the dough, following the recipe to a T, making my family recipe for the filling, and began rolling out the first of two crusts. It started to break and I added more milk (like the recipe said) and it looked a little better. I then tried to roll it again. Again it broke. I tried 4 times with each crust until giving up. All I wanted to do was make my favorite recipe for Girlfriend and co-workers. All of us have had difficult weeks (yesterday I threw a stapler across the classroom-no I will not get into it) and I wanted to do something nice. Normally the gluten free change doesn't bother me, but when I invest a bunch of money and three hours of my night only to have a *confirmed awesome recipe* flop it leaves me in tears that cannot be brushed away with rice flour....

Workman's Comp

It should be no surprise that I run around at work like a crazy person. The children are use to it and don't even notice anymore. We had people from central office in our class a couple of weeks ago and when they mentioned something about how I move around so much the kids didn't think it was strange. It's the only way that we can get everything done in a day and normally everything is fine because our classroom runs like a (quick moving) well oiled machine. Friday was no different, but for some dumb reason I decided to put a chair in the middle of the carpet for them to put their papers on (can you guess where this is going?) when they finished their work. Why did I do this? I don't know, it seemed like a good idea at the time. It continued to seem like a good idea right up to the moment when I spun around, flipped up in the air and landed smack on top of the hard plastic chair. It's a plastic chair, how much damage could it do? Let's just say that it took all of my adult strength and self control not to blurt out at the top of my lungs, "HOLY MOOOOOOTHEERRRRRRR FUUUUUUCKKKKKKEERRRRRRRRRR!!!!" Here is how my shin looks today and yes, it is swollen from just below my knee all the way down to my ankle. I texted my co-worker a picture and she said it gave me a cankle, I responded with it gave me a shinkle. I wish I could get workman's comp for my own clumsy stupidity...

Halloween Hilarity

On Halloween Girlfriend and I headed out to our favorite (predominantly male) gay club for some drag queen and costumed festivities. While people watching at the bar a VERY VERY drunk man came over and started chatting with us. He was wearing a cheerleader uniform that said "Queer Leader" on the front and carrying a big lady gaga style light up wand.

Here are some snippets from our conversation:

Drunken Leader: Women! Are you ladies here for a bachelorette party?

Girlfriend: Nope.

Drunken Leader: Oh, ok. Is this your first time here?

Girlfriend: No. We've been here many times before.

Drunken Leader: That's great! For a bachelorette party tonight?

Girlfriend: Nope. Just Halloween.

He kept rambling on about how he likes hanging out with women, loves ladies-but not like that, how we were all looking so pretty tonight, etc. At one point he left us for a brief minute because he was distracted by a guy covered head to toe in glitter dancing up on unsuspecting people.

Girlfriend: Oh man! I cannot believe this!

Me: What? What?

Girlfriend: He thinks we're straight.

Me: Seriously?

Girlfriend: Seriously.

Me: How is that possible? Look at us!!

Girlfriend: He is REALLLLLLLY drunk.

This is what we looked like people. How drunk would you have to be to not put 2 and 2 together? No, we were not wearing masks, but that's pretty much what our faces looked like (minus the yellow and red skin)

He came back and again a third time he asked us if we were all single or celebrating a bachelorette party. Girlfriend explained how our other friends were single, but we were a couple.

His eyes grew HUGE as the drunken wheels in his brain turned. Then he opened his mouth...."OH, you're lesbians! I LOVE lesbians! You know, I'm gay too." He said with his hands on his hips and head tilted to the side while shifting all of his weight to one leg in his little Queer Leader skirt. All we could do was laugh, look at one another and say, "We love Halloween!"