Back and ready for Halloween

First, I would like to thank you all for your well wishes. I'm finally all better from the flu (Sidenote: Our school system isn't offering flu shots for staff member until Nov. 18...WTF is that about? Not like I would get the flu shot, but still I would like the option in a more appropriate time frame...you know like BEFORE I got the fucking flu! Sorry, back on track.) and getting ready for Halloween. Ugh. I know that relationships are all about compromise, and I will gladly compromise on many, many, many things without complaining but Halloween is just not one that I can handle quietly. I have my tradition, it isn't fancy, but it's mine. On Halloween I give out candy to children and watch "It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown!" on a continuous loop and maybe, MAYBE go out later.

This was my plan. Did you notice the word was? See what ha-happened was Girlfriend has a new co-worker who is a transplant from Texas. (I'm sure you know where this is going) She doesn't know many people and wants to do something for Halloween. Everyone at their lab either has little kids or is (literally) out of the country at the moment...all except Girlfriend, new girl, and a total douche bag guy who no one likes. New girl really wants to do something and meet more people, Girlfriend has a big heart and can't say no...so now we are going out for Halloween. The only thing that is making this better is that we are going to the gay club since as soon as new girl became Facebook friends with Girlfriend (and realized Girlfriend is a homo) she has been talking about how she misses her gay best friend back in Texas. Thus, predominantly gay men's club/bar here we come! I found this out last night and had to come up with a costume. I am an avid fan of the "Non-costume costume" and this year since we are going to be going out-out I put a little bit more effort into my costume.

I'll give you the information, you put it together and tell me what you think I am in the comment section below. Ready? Here we go! Ok, I'm wearing a white shirt and white pants. I am going to pin white index cards all over my clothes and each index card has a different phrase written in black sharpie.

Here are the phrases:

Yes, it's clean

I'm not tired at all

Sorry, I already made plans

That dress doesn't make you look fat

Your baby is adorable

The check is in the mail

You look like you have lost weight

I love your hair

Yes, that matches

Dinner was great

I'd love to go out again

I love my job

You're a great cook

I loved the gift

This is just what I wanted

No, this doesn't taste like cardboard

Yes I was listening

Don't worry the stain will come out

I'm still awake

You're a great driver

No, I don't mind

Nothing's wrong

I'm fine

I can fix this

I love the opera

They're my favorite band

The dog did it

No, I didn't eat the cookies

I wasn't speeding

It doesn't hurt

I love your pet ferret

It's not that bad

The car is filled with gas

I'll be ready in five minutes

I didn't get the e-mail

My phone died

I texted you

It wasn't expensive

No, you didn't wake me up

Ok, now it's your turn to play along. Can you figure out what my costume is? (And in case you are wondering, yes, I am proud of myself!)