Thursday, October 29, 2009

Back and ready for Halloween

First, I would like to thank you all for your well wishes. I'm finally all better from the flu (Sidenote: Our school system isn't offering flu shots for staff member until Nov. 18...WTF is that about? Not like I would get the flu shot, but still I would like the option in a more appropriate time know like BEFORE I got the fucking flu! Sorry, back on track.) and getting ready for Halloween. Ugh. I know that relationships are all about compromise, and I will gladly compromise on many, many, many things without complaining but Halloween is just not one that I can handle quietly. I have my tradition, it isn't fancy, but it's mine. On Halloween I give out candy to children and watch "It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown!" on a continuous loop and maybe, MAYBE go out later.
This was my plan. Did you notice the word was? See what ha-happened was Girlfriend has a new co-worker who is a transplant from Texas. (I'm sure you know where this is going) She doesn't know many people and wants to do something for Halloween. Everyone at their lab either has little kids or is (literally) out of the country at the moment...all except Girlfriend, new girl, and a total douche bag guy who no one likes. New girl really wants to do something and meet more people, Girlfriend has a big heart and can't say now we are going out for Halloween. The only thing that is making this better is that we are going to the gay club since as soon as new girl became Facebook friends with Girlfriend (and realized Girlfriend is a homo) she has been talking about how she misses her gay best friend back in Texas. Thus, predominantly gay men's club/bar here we come! I found this out last night and had to come up with a costume. I am an avid fan of the "Non-costume costume" and this year since we are going to be going out-out I put a little bit more effort into my costume.
I'll give you the information, you put it together and tell me what you think I am in the comment section below. Ready? Here we go! Ok, I'm wearing a white shirt and white pants. I am going to pin white index cards all over my clothes and each index card has a different phrase written in black sharpie.

Here are the phrases:
Yes, it's clean
I'm not tired at all
Sorry, I already made plans
That dress doesn't make you look fat
Your baby is adorable
The check is in the mail
You look like you have lost weight
I love your hair
Yes, that matches
Dinner was great
I'd love to go out again
I love my job
You're a great cook
I loved the gift
This is just what I wanted
No, this doesn't taste like cardboard
Yes I was listening
Don't worry the stain will come out
I'm still awake
You're a great driver
No, I don't mind
Nothing's wrong
I'm fine
I can fix this
I love the opera
They're my favorite band
The dog did it
No, I didn't eat the cookies
I wasn't speeding
It doesn't hurt
I love your pet ferret
It's not that bad
The car is filled with gas
I'll be ready in five minutes
I didn't get the e-mail
My phone died
I texted you
It wasn't expensive
No, you didn't wake me up

Ok, now it's your turn to play along. Can you figure out what my costume is? (And in case you are wondering, yes, I am proud of myself!)


Nulaanne said...

You are going as small talk right? Oh and as a side note flu shots are best when taken between late Oct-March. Any eariler and they wear out before flu season hits. Usually.

Liz said...

Are you going as "girlfriend" ?

The Surprise Dyke said...

Nulaanne-Good guess, but incorrect!

The Surprise Dyke said...

Liz-Nope, try again!

Natalie said...

White lie(s), right?

Shaye Dubya said...

Little white lie. Cute. And, really genius.

The Surprise Dyke said...

Natalie-Close, very very close!

The Surprise Dyke said...

Shaye Dubya-DING DING DING, we have a winner!!! Thanks, I was quite proud of myself :-)