Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Concert Recap

I haven't had internet access since last Thursday (complicated story that's really not interesting at all) but now that I'm back I would like to start by recapping the Coldplay concert I went to with Girlfriend and our two other friends we will call Matchmaker (the chick who set us up in the first place) and Socially Awkward (Matchmaker's on/off/on again girlfriend...the name says it all).

S) If you have never been to a Coldplay concert-GO. It was fantabulous...so awesome I had I to make up a word. The entire time the energy was amazing. They even came up to the lawn where we were and performed a few songs. It was seriously one of the best concerts I have been to in quite a while, and that is saying something considering how many concerts Girlfriend and I have been to this summer.

H) If you are sitting on the lawn, you should be able to sit in a "Lawn Chair" and not have them confiscated at the gate for being too tall (Sidenote: this was NOT mentioned anywhere on the website and there were a LOT of angry people taking it out on the poor workers stuck at the guest services tent. If this happens to you, please don't yell at them it's not their fault and they didn't change the rules.) Oh, did I mention that there was a downpour the night before and the ground was soaked? Yeah. That probably didn't help the situation.

O) If somehow you do sneak your "too-tall-for-the-lawn-lawn-chair" in, don't sit in it. We will all talk about you, point, and make up silly songs including, but not limited to-Big Man in a Little Chair; Security Breach; and Big Man in a Little Chair That's Too Tall a.k.a. the remix...we got there early and had some time on our hands. Don't judge us.

W) If you are on the very crowded lawn, do not act like you are in the front row and flail about all willy nilly. If you flail about, do NOT under any circumstances smack into my people. Girlfriend got smacked twice but she didn't tell me the second time because I would have lost it. I was already steaming mad after the first time and she refused to let me do anything about it. Later in the night she told me she wanted to switch spots so she could talk to Matchmaker for a minute. Crazy Flailing Girl later slammed into me with all of her weight and nearly knocked me down. Well readers, my roots came out...my Jersey roots...ending in me cursing a lot, getting up in her face, demanding she move two steps to the left and warning her not to touch me again. I was, shall we say pissed and let her (and everyone in our area) know. Apparently I was quite loud as this became the mantra of Matchmaker and Socially Awkward in the car ride home as they repeated, "Jersey! Two steps! Two steps to the f*cking left!" at the top of their lungs and then dying in laughter. Whatever. She moved and I won. :-)

Concert Conclusion:
Coldplay rules. Lawn chair rules suck. Give me my personal space or I will go ape-shit on your ass.


Carolyn said...


You are too awesome for words.

I should have gone to the concert when it was in my city. Sad. We're not even allowed water bottles with caps on them. They confiscate the caps hahahaha.

CJ said...

I hate when people fall all over me! I went to Lillith Fair REALLY pregnant and my friends were ultra protective....of course, it wasn't fun to follow behind a BIG MOUTH shouting "PREGNANT WOMAN COMING THROUGH!! MOVE IT OR ELSE!"

The Surprise Dyke said...

Carolyn-They took water bottle caps too! I did not understand that at all, at a hockey game yes, on the lawn at an outdoor concert with bugs-no.

The Surprise Dyke said...

CJ-Your friends are too funny!

Carolyn said...

It's because people like flailing arm girl are idiots and fling them at people and on stage. Grr.

Zed said...

You did not make up the word fantabulous. I've heard it many times before.
Just sayin'. LOL

The Surprise Dyke said...

Zed-My apologies, I stand corrected.