So Bible Chick peaced again. I know, I know, you're thinking, "Why are you friends with her?" We go way back people, don't judge. We have been friends since 2001 and have been through a lot together, the good-we laughed, the bad-we cried, the ugly-we judged, the fabulous-we got souvenirs, but through it all we have stayed friends. Through distance, bad relationships, work, life, etc. we have always made it work.
So here's the situation: I checked my phone after work and there was a sniffly, scratchy, broken message that said, "Hey girl it's me. I'm SOOOOO sorry, but I can't meet tonight. It's not you. Honest. It's me. I'll call and explain when I can talk. Again, I'm SOOO SOOO sorry, but I'm just not in a good place right now. Alright, love you. Bye."
Ok, is it me, or does it sound like we just broke up? (You were thinking it too, admit it.) For serious, who leaves a message canceling dinner with, "It's not you, it's me" and "I'm just not in a good place right now"? That's the sh*t you say to someone when it IS them. Really though, she had to leave a mildy-cryptic message like that, because I would develop a complex and a detailed story about how it totally was me if she didn't. That I had done something, that my roommate outing me to her was an issue, that I was an ass, etc. The truly scary thing is, she's not the only one who has ever left me a message like that. Soooo, maybe it is me? That I need freakish reassurance from those close to me when they cancel...that I'm not being abandoned or something? I feel like now I'm sharing too much, it went from being funny to being personal. Ok, I'm done.
Now I'm in a conundrum. I've looked and looked and looked and tried to rework it in my head, but nothing feels right. I can't erase all that about me at the end because if I do it's not being true to myself, and honesty is what it's all about. But leaving it makes me feel all naked and exposed. Grrr, I hope you are happy readers....this post is for you (cue me hiding in the corner waiting for the next post to reveal itself)