We have been planning for the past several months not only our wedding, but how we will create a family of our own. Girlfriend has met with a fertility clinic and I've talked with a lawyer. Girlfriend wants to carry a child which works out perfectly for us because it enabled both of us to be legal parents-her biologically and me through a second parent adoption. Until the other day. NC overturned the right for second parent adoptions for same sex parents. Not only did they stop judges from performing them, they have also made all previous adoptions invalid. Do they realize the harm this brings? To know that your mom or dad who has adopted you is no longer your legal guardian, that the court just broke apart and took away their family. Now yes, families will continue to exist and love their children just as they have been, but there is something special about a legal document. The validation and acceptance you pay so much money for just gets taken away by people who cannot truly understand how important it is to you. I contacted the lawyer this morning to find out what we can do, HOW I can have any legal protection for our children. I thought we were making steps forward here in NC, and as soon as they do they turn around and tear families apart, destroying hopes and dreams. I want to be a mom. Thank you North Carolina for taking that away from me because somehow continuing to legalize my little family was going to be a bad thing.
Wednesday, December 29, 2010
I knew going into my marriage that it would not be legal the moment we crossed the North Carolina state line. While I wasn't happy about it, I accepted it. I wanted the paper to have to show our children that yes-their mom's are married and yes-their family is secure. It would be great if it was valid here as well, but I know that North Carolina is make steps in the right direction and hopefully in the next few years we will be able to have our license valid here as well.
Thursday, December 23, 2010
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
B man and I am in Florida visiting the relatives for a week. He had a great time at the ocean, but is done with traveling. I wish I could post more but this is the first time I've been able to steal a neighbor's internet. Posting will resume after Christmas when I get back to civilization...
Friday, December 10, 2010
I've posted a lot of gay things, I don't think anything can top this: tonight I took holiday portraits...of the dogs...wearing scarves.
B would like for you to notice his hair. He did it himself.
Q dog would like for you to ignore the things that B and L have said. He has been a very good doggie and should get extra presents for being nice to them all the time.
Q and B sitting and being handsome. L will be photoshopped in later (he's scared of the tree because of a traumatic ornament incident in his past that he would like us not to talk about).
Taking pictures is hard work, so we had to lie down.
Wait. There are HOW many more days until presents?!?!?
Thursday, December 9, 2010
The school gossip mill is again going at full speed and guess who it's about...yours truly. That's right, I'm the center of the gossip mill-again. It got to the point where today I sat down with my principal and assistant principal and spelled it out for them. I talked with them individually in their offices and essentially said-Yes the rumors they may/may not have heard are true. Yes, I am getting married in DC for a specific reason. No, I am not changing my name right away and yes I am marrying a woman. I'm marrying Sam*. Short for Samantha. Not Samuel. End of story. I've played the pronoun game for a while and kept this a secret not because I'm ashamed in any way but because you weren't here when I was hired. I didn't want to put my job on the line until I knew it was safe for me to tell you this because legally you have the right to fire me. I didn't want you to hear this from anyone else." Their response after a descent pause where I watched their faces absorb all of this "You're a great teacher. Your job is completely secure and we will keep your privacy. You tell who you want to tell and we will protect you, but from our side it doesn't leave this room." My AP also said, "I heard rumors for a while from people, speculation and questions but it's really not my business. I just care that you know your stuff, which you clearly do. And my neighbors are gay...come to think of it they throw the best parties." My response? "Not surprised. We know how to throw a party." We then got into how I've been working with a group of out gay teachers who are trying to work on diversity training in the middle schools and high schools because we've heard from other teachers that they have no idea how to handle some situations that have come up in and around their schools. My principal and AP thought this was great, especially given the recent events in schools around the country, and said the same thing we have been saying and hearing, "All the diversity training I ever received in school was always about race, language, ethnicity and religion."
I texted Girlfriend after school today and told her. She was SUPER excited but confused as to how it all came up. I told her, "They were going to hear it from others or me. It needed to be me." She's just excited that they are on my side and not going to fire me. DITTO TO THAT!!!!
*Girlfriend's name changed
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
On Sunday I had my first possible relapse. It started with my feet being numb for hours, then the headache came on like a freight train. I even too sleeping pills on Sunday night just so I could lay down and not have tears down my face from the pressure of the pillow. *Note-my doctor has moved to Tennessee and I currently have no neurologist. MAJOR PROBLEM!!!!* We called both the neurology clinic at UNC and Duke but neither could see me until next year. Yes you read correctly. Next. Year. It got so bad on Monday that Girlfriend took me to the emergency room after realizing I had been in pain for 18 hours. At this point I could no longer see straight, my left foot/leg was still numb and I'd give just about anything for the headache to go away. Two hours later they gave me some type of IV concoction that helped my head within the hour but left me completely exhausted and just feeling "weird." I slept the rest of Monday and all of Tuesday and could have very well slept all of today. I'm finally starting to feel like myself (don't tell Girlfriend that my head is starting to hurt again) but I've taken notes of the days/symptoms so that when I do get a new doctor at least I have kept up with what has been going on inside my body.