Snapshot of our life

I think this snapshot of a conversation sums up life with me and Girlfriend.

(Yes this was in public. Yes we were quite loud. No we did not care.)

Girlfriend: WHAT!?!?

Me: Yes!

Girlfriend: Wait, WHAT!?! How did I not know this?

Me: I don't know. It was front page news the other month. I didn't mention it because I assumed you knew.

Girlfriend: I just cannot believe I didn't find this out until now.

Me: Woman, you are WAY out of the gay loop. You need to start reading your newsletter.

Straight Friend: What newsletter?

Me: The gay one. Don't stress, you're not on the mailing list.

Girlfriend: We're all on the mailing list. That's how we know our agenda. It must still be going to my old address.

Me: I jumped on the electronic one. It's more eco-friendly and sh*t. You know how our people do. Or maybe you don't since you haven't been reading the newsletter.

Birthday Awesomeness

Who is awesome? I am awesome. This you should already know from reading my blog. Since we are on a budget I made girlfriend a slew of coupons for her birthday. Did I take a picture to brag on myself before I gave them to her? Of course not! Grrr! I'll have to get her to forward me a picture of their obnoxious cuteness to share with you all. When she opened them the first thing she said was "Awww!" followed quickly by "Do I have to give them back to you, or can I please please keep them?" (We decided she can keep them and I will initial the back after she uses it) I also baked her a red velvet cake (her faves) from scratch. Scratch people. Like scratch scratch. I've never made red velvet cake before and naively thought to myself, "It's cake. How hard can it be?" Seriously, that is one freaking laborious cake. It took me a solid 5, count'em 5, hours and I had to wash all the mixing bowls in the house TWICE to make the cake, marshmallow cream and icing. If that's not love then nothing is. Here is a picture to make you jealous you aren't living with me and getting delicious birthday treats :-)

Best Girlfriend EVER

Before I get into today's post I would just like to say thank you all for your kind words and thoughts. It has touched my heart in more ways than I can eloquently explain in words to you here. Now to the post-

I truly have the most loving, best, and most perfect girlfriend in the world. You can fight me on this about how your significant other is the best, but sorry people Girlfriend takes the #1 spot. As you know from the previous post things are a little shaky around here right now and Girlfriend's statement about she taking care of me from my Just Call Me Nurse post could not be more accurate. She stayed with me on Thursday night after band (I made her go to try and keep our lives as "normal" as possible right now) Then took me me yesterday to the hospital for my first of three Solumedrol infusions. FIRST we found out I had to go upstairs to the transplant unit to which Girlfriend stated, "What the hell?!? They're not sticking people's body parts in you!" When we finally got to the right place (3 locations later) I was told it was supposed to take 1 1/2 hours. At 2 hours all I had was an IV line in my arm and nothing attached. Girlfriend looked at me straight faced and made the BEST comment of the day, "They know that putting a line in you and attaching it to nothing isn't helping right? Where the hell is the medicine, I'll do it myself." Once it was in she had more funny statements including, "Now that you're on high dose steroids you are going to be cut like the Hulk-GRRRRRR!" and "I'm glad your not a dude or your balls might shrivel up. Well, that's not the only reason I'm glad your not a dude." 4 1/2 hours later we were finally done and on our way to pick up Q, a movie, a pizza and peppermints for home.

She has since dubbed my IV line "my accessory" since I wear oh so many accessories on a daily basis, making statements like, "Your accessory is looking excellent with your outfit today" and "make sure you color coordinate your clothes to your accessory tomorrow, it's bad to clash." My personal favorite was when she sat down next to me on the couch, "EWWWW, your accessory just touched me!" VERY quickly followed by, "I'm-kidding-honey,-I-promise-I'm-totally-kidding........(whisper) kinda."

She has taken amazing care of me with not a single complaint-this morning she taped and covered my line with a trash bag so I could take a shower, washed my hair for me since my arm was all plastic wrapped and unable to bend and been just wonderful since we talked on Thursday at work. Today I sent her to band rehearsal for their concert tomorrow and a home nurse is coming to show us how to do the second and third treatments ourselves and for all possible treatments in the future.

Backing up a moment-on Thursday we were laying in bed and I point blank asked her how she was doing with all of this. Her response was something like, "I'm not really sure. I'm taking it in moment by moment, day by day. Right here next to you."

That ladies and gentlemen is why I have the best girlfriend EVER.

Prayers Please

As you read earlier this week I had a ton of blood work and an MRI done yesterday because of some weird episodes I have been having for the past few weeks. Here is a recap of my symptoms-dizziness, headache, blurred/overlapping vision, difficulty concentrating, loss of coordination, loss of stable balance, head to toe tingling in waves, numbness in fingertips and toes, fatigue, muscle weakness. My doctor called today with the results of all my tests. My vitamin D and iron levels are low so I need to take supplements. My MRI came back "stone cold normal" except....for swelling around the right occipital nerve. He then told me that it may indicate the onset of MS. After I got off the phone with him I looked up symptoms of MS-I read like a textbook case. All I could say for about ten minutes was, "But I'm only 26 years old." Tomorrow I go back to the hospital to start three days of Solumedrol IV treatment to try and help with the inflammation. Home Health will be bringing the second and third treatments to my house this weekend. I also have a Visual Evoked Potential test sometime next week and depending on those findings a lumbar puncture (a.k.a. spinal tap) after that. When I called Girlfriend and told her what the doctor said here's a chunk of our conversation:

Girlfriend: Honey I'm so sorry

Me: I'm sorry too

Girlfriend: Why are you sorry?

Me: This is not what we had planned

Girlfriend: No it's not, but I love you. Everything will be ok. We are in this together.

Cue the waterworks people, because I LOST it then. I talked with my grade level after school at our planning time and they are WONDERFUL. They are taking care of all my lesson plans for next week so I can just relax this weekend. My mom finally stopped crying after I talked with her and I'm trying to convince her not to come down yet. I don't want her to come down until after we know more, because right now there is nothing she (or anyone) can do. Girlfriend and I have canceled all plans this weekend and she's coming to stay with me tonight and take me to/from the hospital tomorrow.

Readers, if you are praying people I ask for your prayers at this time. Prayers not only for me, but for my family.

Update on B and Girlfriend

B is on antibiotics and is doing better (as far as I can tell) today. He goes back to the vet next week to get his urine checked and make sure things are clearing up on the inside. After he finishes his antibiotics he will be getting his teeth cleaned. I feel like a bad mom, because even though I brush his teeth, he has gingivitis which the vet thinks caused his infection from licking himself. B will continue to get UTIs until I have his teeth cleaned and everything in his mouth fixed. Fun times all around. On a more positive (and less expensive-I was going to say cheaper but thought better of it) note Girlfriend is feeling much better. She was able to keep food down all day Monday and was able to go to work today. I sent her back home last night with a sleeve of crackers and half a bottle of Pepto.

Scorecard results: Me-2 Sickness-0

Just call me nurse

There is something wrong when I am the healthiest one in the house this week. I took B to the emergency vet this morning when late last night we noticed blood around his "privates" after he peed. After talking with a vet on the phone I made an appointment to take him in first thing this morning. The vet believes that B has a UTI and he is currently sleeping on the couch next to me all medicated up. He has to have antibiotics for a few weeks and has to go back to be checked again in 10 days. The only positive thing is that I like the emergency vet I went to WAY better than B's regular vet and I'm seriously considering transferring to this place. I've been a wreck since seeing him bleeding and Girlfriend was going to come with me to be the emotional rock, but she started puking around 6AM and didn't go back to sleep until after 8:30. She is also all medicated up (Pepto and Emitrol which she keeps throwing up-not exactly helping her) and currently is sleeping in the bed where I can keep an eye on her. I took off tomorrow to keep an eye on B, and Girlfriend if she is still yaking up her inside. She doesn't want to eat anything but I am force feeding her saltines and ginger ale. Earlier Girlfriend was laying on the couch and said exasperatedly, "But I'm supposed to be taking care of you!" To which I responded, "You took care of me last week, let me take care of you now so you can take care of me later on. Staying well is going to be a team effort for a while." Some background-last week I went to my neurologist because I have been having some strange episodes. He took 7 vials of blood to test for anything and everything possible, except pregnancy. On Wednesday after work I have to head back to the hospital to have two MRIs done to hopefully find out some answers. So, yeah, if I'm the healthiest one in the house-something is wrong. Keep your fingers crossed I don't mix up their meds ;-)

Visiting the relatives, or something like that

This past weekend Girlfriend invited me to tag along while she went to visit her grandpa. I brought B, as we are a package deal. The trip began with let's just say a rocky start. Explanation below.

While riding in the car on the way to see Avatar in 3D (p.s. It's awesome!)

Me: I know we're leaving after the movie but what time are we heading back tonight?

Girlfriend: You know we're staying the night, right?

Me: What?!?!

Girlfriend: We're coming back tomorrow.

Me: But, but, but....you said we were going on Saturday.

Girlfriend: We are. We're going on Saturday and coming back Sunday.

Me: (deep long breath)

Girlfriend: Sorry? I love you?

Me: It's fine. B may be eating Q's food because since you didn't tell me I'm not sure that I packed him enough for two days.

Once we got there everything was fine, however-Girlfriend ALSO neglected to tell me that her grandpa lives in the middle of f*cking NOWHERE. We were surrounded by nothing but flatness, passed a total of two traffic lights and ate at one of two restaurants in the area. Let me paint a picture here for you: we drove from his house a solid twenty minutes where we were the only car on the road (unless you count the f*cking tractor we got caught behind) where we turned onto another desolate road when eventually led to a restaurant and nothing else. When we were in the parking lot of the restaurant I handed her my wallet from my back pocket and told her to stick it in her purse because I felt slightly unsafe and "too gay" for the location. I'm not against rural areas, but I am not designed to live (or visit) there either. On another note her grandpa was wonderful and very welcoming to me and B, who he liked but wondered quote, "Is he ever still? What is left for him to sniff?"

On Sunday we went "visiting" the rest of the relatives which was an adventure I was not fully prepared for but turned out fine. Oh! Oh! BEST part-while we were at Girlfriend's great aunt's house she kept insisting that we had met before, several years ago at the funeral for Girlfriend's grandma. As much as Girlfriend and her mom tried to get this woman to let it go, she was just not having it. Insisting that I somehow looked familiar, and must have visited in the past, wondering if I had done some different with my hair, etc. I thought it was hilarious watching Girlfriend and her mom squirm trying to get this sweet old lady to shut the hell up. Walking to the car Girlfriend's mom grabbed my arm and said, "Um yeah...sorry about that." Climbing in the backseat Girlfriend looked down sheepishly and said, "So, um yeah....sorry about that." I burst into laughter at the whole situation which made them feel better.

V days recap

Confession: Girlfriend was my first valentine. Ever.

When I told her this she was confused, then I explained that somehow I've always been single in the month of February and never had a valentine. I then made the stupid mistake of saying, "Well, roommate was my valentine in college, but that didn't count." After a little but of back pedaling I was out of the doghouse. We decided a while ago because of financial reasons to keep the V day stuff to a minimum. Well, a minimum price but lots of stuff, because as you know-I don't do "simple" gifts see reminders one and two.

Wednesday

On Wednesday the FedEx man rang the doorbell and a mysterious package was left on the steps. NATURALLY I ripped that sh*t open when I saw it had my name on it. Exactly 5 minutes later I got a text.

Girlfriend: Don't open that.

Me: Five minutes too late.

What did she send me you wonder? Personalized m&m's in two shades of green. Dark green ones that say, "Who needs..." and light green ones that say, "...pink and red?" I love it but am left with a predicament: I want to keep them, but I don't want them to go bad so I feel I should eat them. Decisions, decisions.

Thursday

I went to work per usual and while I was teaching the students about the history and traditions of Valentine's Day the topic of my gift came up. My class thinks she's awesome and that "Miss _____ is very lucky to have a Valentine who really knows her." I couldn't have said it better myself. We ended the night by going to the Brandi Carlile concert which was A-Mazing to put it mildly. If you don't know who she is, you should. I will leave it at that.

Friday

We both had taken off of work knowing the concert would run late and took full advantage of sleeping in. Girlfriend made me breakfast (normally I'm the one getting up and doing this, so this was a nice surprise) and after "brunch" we rearranged the furniture per my drawing and it looks awesome! Finally we got dressed (when we had to) and went to dinner at a new Thai restaurant. When we got back home I made her a white chocolate cake with raspberry sauce for her gift. She loved it!

Saturday

On Saturday we did nothing all day. It was great. In the evening we had some of our friends come over who we hadn't seen in far too long and I made dinner for everyone, complete with dessert. It was great to catch up with friends and just relax at home.

Sunday

I made Girlfriend breakfast in bed and surprised her with a personalized crossword puzzle all about us. She did pretty well on it and only needed three clues :-) She gave me a card which I was not expecting and promptly tore into. It was a Valentine's Day card with undies on the front. Inside she wrote, "Happy Valentine's Day, but more importantly happy eleven months. I didn't think my future would amount to anything. Then you came along...now I know I was wrong." Cue the mother f*cking waterworks. I am not, I repeat NOT a crier but they just popped out before I could stop them. We did nothing all day, no I take that back-we TRIED to do nothing but take a nap but two dogs would just not let that happen. When they are napping no one bothers them but if we want a nap, noooooo it must be play with the squeaky toys and jump on moms time.

All in all it was a pretty great weekend with the people I love. Here's hoping your weekend was just a great and *wishfully* snow free!

Making it OURs

This should come as no surprise: I am a control freak. Girlfriend is the exception because I am more than happy to let her make decisions for us. Her furniture is now at my house and we have been trying to re-arrange the living room to work but it has been a futile attempt. She had asked if it was okay with me if the couch was not centered to the room and initially I said that was fine. I really thought I would be okay with it. I don't know what I was thinking. I am SOOOO not okay with it. Tonight I measured all the furniture and the room, made everything on graph paper and moved stuff around until I liked it then send Girlfriend a picture text to get her input. She likes the changes and this is now our project for the weekend. And they say you never use the things you learn in school....

Here is the new layout in case your curiosity was burning inside:

In other news, this conversation excerpt was too fun not to share. Girlfriend and I went to lunch with our friend after "helping" her shop for clothes. Yes, we were in public. No, we were not quiet.

Me: I'm banking on you being able to support our family. My teaching salary is never going to be enough.

Girlfriend: Hold up. I have to birth them AND pay for them?!?! If I'm being the woman in this situation you need to man up.

Me: Woman please! After they're born who is cooking dinner, doing laundry, cleaning the house and going over homework. Mmm-hmm. That's what I thought.

Friend: Wow. Your children have no chance.

Me: That's what I'm sayin! Her salary needs to provide for us because CLEARLY mine is going to be their future therapy fund.

Day 2...

Yesterday I made cookies and several of you requested the recipe. I am more than happy to share, but I cannot take credit-I found it at Simply Gluten Free. It makes 2 dozen cookies-Mix 1 cup of peanut butter with 1 cup of sugar. In a separate bowl mix 1 egg, 1 teaspoon of baking powder and 1 teaspoon of vanilla. Mix this into the peanut butter mixture. Scoop 1 tablespoon of batter into your hands, roll into a ball and roll in sugar. Last do the criss-cross thing with a fork to flatten them out. Bake at 350 for 10 minutes and let them rest on the cookie sheet for 5 minutes before moving to a cooling rack (don't try and move them before this, they will mush all apart). Finally, take a picture before your Girlfriend eats them all!

Today we were snowed in again and here is a recap of our day:

We began our day with watching Public Enemies and since B wanted to snuggle right in the middle, we messed with his hair. We can't help it, he has GREAT hair! Which one is your favorite?

This one is my masterpiece titled: B from Whoville.

This one is Girlfriend's masterpiece titled: B the alien.

After the movie and hairstyling it was time for B to go play in the snow. Poor baby, he kept sinking down into it with every few steps but after a while he just took to jumping like a bunny.

After playing in the snow it was nap time again...these snow days sure do take it out of you!

I've already received the message that school is canceled tomorrow and we are waiting on Girlfriend to hear word from her work. I'll keep you updated on our exciting days.

She's corny but I love her

I was on the phone with Girlfriend today and we were talking about her moving and all the *fun* details that go into that. Some background updates: we've had some problems with her dad about her stuff coming here, and I mean major problems. He was fine with all of it, and then he wasn't. I mean WASN'T in a big big way-to the point where he would rather her get rid of her stuff then move it here. On one level I get it-he's watched his daughter get her heart broken before, he's worried, etc. but on a different level I'm like-back the f*ck up. It was at the point where I thought that he and I were going to have *words* about his attitude this weekend. Girlfriend and I had accepted that we temporarily lost this fight and would just move all of her stuff in the dead heat of the summer and end all the fighting. Enough background. Tonight she calls me and here is a recap of our conversation:

Girlfriend: Ready for my stuff to be there next weekend?

Me: Um we lost that battle remember?

Girlfriend: I don't know what happened between last time Dad and I met and tonight but he has backed down. Like for the first time ever. About anything.

Me: Seriously?

Girlfriend: Yup. He said storage is going to be too expensive, (my name here) has the space and if this ends and she takes all your stuff at least it wasn't worth anything.

Me: I'm glad he has confidence in us darling.

Girlfriend: Whatever. Ignore him and focus. What's important is that we won! I can't believe we won!

Me: I'm a little in shock myself, but very happy.

Girlfriend: My stuff is going where I want it to go, I'm going to save up for a few months and get back on my feet and then we can begin our journey on this thing called life together.

Me: Really?

Girlfriend: (laughing) Yes. I really did just say that. I even did a big arm sweep that you couldn't see over the phone.

Me: You are special kind of corny right now. A mix of a greeting card, lifetime movie, dove chocolate promise and after school special all rolled into one.

Girlfriend: I love that you act as if this is somehow new information for you.

Me: Not new, just a new level of special.

Big talk, big decisions, big changes

There are big talks, big decisions and big changes occurring here in my home. Girlfriend and I had a big talk about her moving here this summer and what to do with her stuff while she's staying with her dad. She is going to bring the stuff she won't need here, since it's coming here anyway and it seemed stupid to move her stuff to a storage unit, then move it here a few months later. This then led into the topic of our double stuff. We each have living room furniture, vacuums, etc. all of which created a second conversation-what to do with all our double stuff? It seems silly to keep double of everything, so what do we do? Neither one of us has been in this situation before. I went from living in a dorm to living with my (former) roommate for six years to now being on my own. She went from living in a dorm/apt. to living with her ex, to living on her own. For the first time I started to get sweaty. I'm not sure what happened, but I found myself feeling my heart race, my body sweating and struggling to keep myself composed in public. Even though we've talked about her moving in, I think the discussion of choosing between whose stuff to use somehow made it real. No, I'm not changing my mind or chickening out, but it's still scary. Big changes are coming this way, and as scary as they are, I'm ready to walk headfirst right into it. I leave this short (but heavy) post with a fun excerpt from our conversation over coffee tonight:

Me: What did your dad say when you told him?

Girlfriend: He was fine with it. He agreed that it should give me enough time to get my shit together.

Me: You know that I don't need you to have your shit together right?

Girlfriend: You don't want some broke mother fucker moving into your house.

Me: You're right. I don't want just ANY broke mother fucker moving in. You are a different story and I think I'll keep your broke ass around. We've already established I'm not with you for your credit.

Girlfriend: Nope, that's why I keep you around. Love you!

Me: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Sunshine after the rain

I want to start by thanking so many of you again for your words, I cannot fully express how much it meant to have your love and support when going through such a hard time. After much time in prayer, hard conversations and tears things are starting to get better.

The pain of losing my grandma is simply one that is going to take time, so I'm not going to pretend that I'm all better because I'm not. I do however know that things will get better with time and it's a process I simply have to go through. Thankfully I have a loving support system here, back home with my family and with you all on the internet.

Girlfriend and I had very long, very hard and very much needed conversation. One we had to wait several days to have because it simply was not one we could have over the phone. She's going to move in with her dad for a couple of months and then move in here, she wants to have a cushion to help out and not feel like she's not contributing. This is something I had not even thought about because I want to take care of her, but I respect her for this. Even though on the rare occasion an issue from her past pops up, we are stronger than ever. I was shocked to hear things her dad told her when she informed him that I gave her the option of moving here. He's actually acknowledged that we are in a relationship, AND that he and his wife really like and respect me (my jaw dropped open when she told me that) and he's comfortable with her moving in with me once she gets back on her feet.

Last of all my health stuff that is going on. This morning (right as I was getting dressed to be in a wedding in another city...awesome timing) my period started. I'm still going to go to the doctor to make sure everything is okay since I didn't get it for three months but I feel a lot better (mentally, physically I still feel "off") now that at least it's back this month.

Drowning in the downpour...

Disclaimer: This is a long post with lots of depressing/sad information. There is no sarcasm, wit, or sillyness. I am sorry for this but that's just not where I am right now.

I haven't wanted to talk about all of this because it's a lot of downers (and that's really not what my blog is about) and it's a little too personal to put out there, except that I have no other options. On Sunday morning I got a call from my mom that I was dreading. As soon as I saw her name pop up I knew why she was calling and burst into tears. My grandma was on a ventilator in the hospital and passed away that morning. She was fine a week ago and even took the grandkids and great-grandkids into the city for a day trip. She was a amazing woman with more courage, love, compassion and strength than anyone else I've known. What's even more is that she didn't have to be my grandma, she was my god-father's wife's mother. (follow that train?) When I was a little girl my dad's mother said some very hateful things to me and essentially banished me from her life (all are her issues that I worked out in years of therapy but that is a WHOLE different topic that I am totally over). When my grandma found out about what happened she pulled me aside and said, "I will always love you. I will always be your grandma. Don't let anyone ever try to tell you differently." She didn't have to be my grandparent, but chose that role for her and her husband. She attended every grandparent celebration at school, and treated me just like all the other grandkids, punishing my god-brothers' cousin who said I wasn't family. When my god-father was killed in an accident she kept the family together and running. When I got sick several years ago she sat with my parents in the hospital waiting room after everyone else left. She was an amazing woman and today is her funeral. I am 525 miles away. It's not that I don't want to be there, logistically I simply can't. I can't afford a plane ticket, I wouldn't have been able to drive there in time, and it just was not possible to go. Needless to say I am a wreck this week.

Add to that that Girlfriend and I are in a rough place right now. We're both struggling with things right now (different issues for each of us) and it's really hard right now. We've been together for almost a year and she's having some financial problems that I've recently learned a lot more about. Her dad is going to pay off her debt and she is going to pay him interest free which is awesome. He wants her to move back in with him so he can help her out. Now before I go further, her dad and I are cordial. We're polite to each other and can keep a conversation going for a little bit, but please don't leave us to ourselves for more than thirty minutes as awkward silence will be inevitable. With that said, let's be real-he is an overbearing, I'm-always-right, do-it-my-way-or-you'll-never-hear-the-end-of-it man who has more than once thought she was "being gay to get back at him." He even lied to her grandparents about Thanksgiving and said she was with other relatives and not me (they all know she's gay) but that is a totally different issue too. She lived with him for a little while and hated every moment of it because he controlled everything and she always felt like she was doing something wrong and had no freedom. I being me, tried to fix this and I offered her an alternative: move in with me. Guess what she picked? Here's a hint, it's not living with me. I'm trying to be understanding (there is a lot more to it than her just saying no-in a nutshell her partner of six years left one morning for work and never came back, leaving her a "Dear John" letter on the kitchen counter so she has fears of moving in) but it's really hard. I feel like I need to be careful about what I say to her right now because I don't want to make her feel guilty or bad about choosing to move back in with her dad, which is putting me in a hard spot. Clearly I can't talk to her about it right now and my best friend (former roommate) is away visiting her and her boyfriend's family for the holidays.

Top it all off with the fact that I am having some health problems that I'm now starting to get really worried about. Way back in October I got the flu, remember that? Well at the same time as I got the flu my period started and was really really bad for a couple of hours then was gone. Since it stopped abruptly I went to the doctor because that was not normal. They told me that I was fine and it was probably just because of the flu and not to worry. So I didn't. It's essentially January-I still have not had my period again yet I get all the symptoms and pain. I didn't go back to the doctor because I just kept assuming that it would come and I would get back on my schedule. It's going on almost four months now and I'm going to go to a different doctor to hopefully get some answers.

So if we put it all together this makes me one gigantic mess of a person who feels like crap all around. To make it worse I can't really talk to anyone about it because my family is obviously a mess, my best friend is away and Girlfriend is dealing with her own issues. B is tired of listening to me but has been very loving while I've been crying on the couch since Sunday. If you made it this far, thank you for listening. I promise to get back to my sarcastic, witty, silly self as soon a possible but right now I'm just drowning in the downpour...

It must be love...

Girlfriend asked for cinnamon rolls for breakfast so cinnamon rolls I deliver. She does not have any food allergies so I could have just ran to the grocery store and picked up some pre-made rolls but then I can't have them and that would just make Sunday brunch suck. Instead I busted out my cookbook and made them from scratch. I started all the prep-work around 4:15...it's currently 7:25 and I just took them out of the oven. Now, granted they did proof for an hour and a half, but still-if that isn't love I don't know what is. In case you are wondering I've made them today because the idea of getting up at 6am to mix the flour, let it rise for an hour and a half, bake them and make cream cheese icing was simply not appealing. What is appealing is making everything tonight, reheating them in the oven tomorrow morning and seeing a huge smile on her face. (sorry, that last part was uber-vomit inducing). Happy weekend!

Confirming the obvious (Updated)

If this isn't the best Christmas gift on a budget, I don't know what is...vacation memories, her animals and her favorite college sports team all wrapped up in one useful gift that she actually needs. Yup, I just gave myself a pat on the back for this one :-)

Update: Girlfriend loved her gift and got all teary-eyed. Success!

Thine name is Awesome

Girlfriend put us on a budget of twenty dollars for Christmas. This would have been awesome except that I already had a working list of ideas of things I could get her, none of which were under the $20 limit. I am not a generic gift giver (see Girlfriend's birthday last year) and it was KILLING me to give her some random, non-special, run of the mill $20 gift. I went as far as calling my mom for help and her non-helpful statement was, "Sorry kid, sounds like you're screwed." Needless to say my attitude was in the crapper and I was beginning to seriously stress about this. That is until today when I was getting Christmas cards and random stuff at Target. I saw this and the lightbulb inside my little head sparked!

The wheels started turning, the ideas started flowing and my excitement because uncontainable. Girlfriend is totally getting a new travel mug (which she needs) BUT it is going to have several custom hand-made inserts of the animals (individually and collectively), our trip to Hawaii and all things saxophone. Who's awesome? That would be me. I was so excited at Target that I high-fived myself (don't judge) and called my mom (who agreed that yes, I am awesome) because I was too proud to keep this to myself. Oh, and I got Girlfriend's mom a gift certificate for a massage. Yes you are correct, I did just get more awesome.

Hawaii 101

Girlfriend and I just got back from a week in Hawaii (hard life I know) and while we were there I kept a running list of things I felt you should know because as you know, I love lists. Here are my observations for you, listed as we noticed them throughout the week:

1. Sand.

I've been to the beach on several states on the Atlantic coast and at every beach the sand has been small fine grains that attach to your skin and stay for eons. Not so much in the middle of the Pacific Ocean. Girlfriend put it best when she looked at me while laying on the beach and said, "I feel like we are laying in really clean kitty litter." At first I thought she was kidding but she was right (as usual).

2. Pigeons.

Pigeons are everywhere. In the middle of the Pacific Ocean there is an abundance of pigeons. they are freakishly allowed everywhere as well. I've always considered pigeons to be flying rats and was less than thrilled that they were just walking around, hanging out in restaurants...and no one else seemed to care. How is that not a health issue? I mean there they were stalking my food, flapping around, and yet no one was bothered by this. This is Roger by the way, he sat with us while we ate ice cream.

3. Rainbows.

Rainbows are the staple of our community identity. Not so much in Hawaii. As Girlfriend said in exasperation, "Freakin' rainbow misdirection!" after we chatted with two hot surfer girls we thought were family. Nope. Just Hawaiian. Even the buses mess with your head. You're not getting on The Gay Bus, just The Bus.

4. Cockroaches.

While hiking Diamond Head Crater we saw several cockroaches. How did they get to the top of a volcanic crater in the middle of the ocean? They truly are everywhere and will outlive everything else.

5. Cacti.

I've not considered Hawaii to be a desert, and in my mind cacti only grow in deserts. Yet, there they were chillin on the side of rocks all over. Please enlighten me about this because all I've ever learned in school was that cacti grow in deserts. I'm confused...

6. Ya.

"Ya" is the Hawaiian equivalent to the Canadian "Eh?" Girlfriend and I started using towards each other, as it is an awesome way to end a sentence, ya.

7. Pretty.

No matter how many times you pass places you will repeatedly said, "Wow, it's so pretty!" The whole freaking place looks like one giant postcard making me reach out and touch plants to make sure they were really real and not fake.

Countdown is underway!

My parents arrive on Saturday. One guess as to who is not ready. The house is messy, the list of things to do is growing exponentially and time is dwindling down. They will be visiting me from Saturday to Friday (yes, that is a LOT of days I KNOW!) and I've made my dad a list of things to around the house to let him feel like "The Dad" even though we both know I could do everything on the list myself. When I told Girlfriend that they were going to be getting here on Saturday here is how the conversation went:

Girlfriend: Saturday? I thought they were going to be here on Monday?

Me: You and me both. Well, at least you get to meet them before Thursday.

Girlfriend: Um.....I'll meet them Thursday.

Me: Ok. Here's how this is going to go. I want you to be here and meet them Saturday. The answer I'm looking for is yes. You have a week to get yourself comfortable with that answer okay?

Girlfriend: Um......

Me: So when I ask, 'Are you spending the night here Friday?' The answer I'm looking for is yes. You want me to make more decisions, and now I'm making one (insert big cheesy grin here).

Girlfriend: But, but, but, your parents are scary!

Me: Honey you've never met them! AND they already like you. AND nothing is scarier than you dad.

Girlfriend: Hey! What do you mean?

Me: Need I remind you when we started dating you were still staying at your dad's?

Girlfriend: No, I remember that.

Me: Well nothing is scarier than being a loud abrasive northern and eating breakfast with a large Southern man whose daughter I'm sleeping with.

Girlfriend: (laughing) Ok, you win. Yes. I will be here on Saturday.

Two Discoveries and a funny story

As you know, I was less than thrilled about getting roped into going out for Halloween. I'd like to eat my words and honestly say that I had a fabulous time, AND I'm even planning out possible costumes for next year-it was that awesome. Also, as you know I was dressed in all white with those phrase cards attached all over (Answer to my costume: little white lies) and Girlfriend wore black shoes, black pants, black lace top thing, black button up shirt-but not buttoned, a black fedora, and one of my green and black ties. What was she you ask? Her Guitar Hero character that she created. Side note: I don't think it gets any gayer than that. Even better was that it started with her saying, "I want to wear a fedora and your green tie...I'll figure out the costume as I go." After she was dressed I looked at her and said, "Did you intentionally dress like your Guitar Hero chick, or is this a super gay coincidence?" Oh, here's a super fun story-Girlfriend has no idea, I mean NO idea, how to tie a tie and needed me to help her. She wouldn't even try because she was afraid she would somehow mess up my tie and that just can not happen. She's a smart lady :-) Oh, and she bought me the tie a while ago as a gift because I was looking for a green tie with a small black design-it's a Miss Feeney's Finery and has this picture on the inside...Girlfriend just got more awesome didn't she?

Anyway, that was totally off topic. The post is about two discoveries and I've yet to share them. Discovery 1 comes from the costumes: Girlfriend is f*cking hot in a tie. I mean, she's always hot don't get me wrong, but she was super hot in a tie. I'm used to seeing Girlfriend femmed out as she normally wears lace top things (Is it messed up that I don't know what they are actually called? If you know, help a chick out and leave it in the comment section.) under her shirts while rocking fitted jeans, a purse, etc. but to see her in her lace top things and a fedora and tie was a whole new level of hotness. Discovery 2: I love Halloween. I've never loved Halloween and have felt left out in the community as it is our Gay Christmas. I'm gay, I love Christmas, but I don't love Gay Christmas. That is until this past weekend-partying at a gay men's nightclub is the only, I mean ONLY way celebrate. In addition to a Halloween themed drag show, we played our own game of "wing counting contest" throughout the night. We also had a "short-shorts" contest. Sidenote: Where do all of our boys buy/find teeny tiny leather shorts? Do they all get some sort of e-mail list about these things? Of all the guys wearing short-shorts over half were in either red or black leather ones while the other half were split between denim cutoffs and underwear.

Last a funny story. So before we went out, Girlfriend and I grabbed dinner at an Indian restaurant near her home. It's a place we frequent often because the food is awesome, they have big portions and most importantly it's close by. We got there around regular dinner time and the place was empty. I mean e.m.p.t.y. and as the night went on every person who works there came to talk to us, including all the waiters, the hostess, both bartenders and the chef. We chatted about costumes, trick-or-treaters, going out later, the food, etc. but didn't really get specific as to our plans-just that we were meeting up with her coworkers later in the evening. (This is not the funny story by the way, this is background information) and as we left told them to have a great evening and hoped that business would pick up for them later. (Ok, here is the funny story) Hours later we are hanging out on the patio at the club getting some fresh air and chatting with an adorable little 20 year old boy wearing wings (check), body glitter and short shorts (check). Girlfriend feels a tap on her shoulder and hears a guy ask how dinner was. When he took off his mask we realized it was totally our waiter from that night, and to make it even better he was there with the guy who is normally our waiter (I told you we eat there a lot). He said, "I was hoping we were going to see you ladies here later tonight!" It was awesome.

Now I told you I was thinking of possible costume ideas for next year and while Girlfriend and I were getting dressed we were head to toe in all black and all white. Spy versus Spy people. Watch for it, wait for it.