4,1,7,3,6,9,2,5,8

My best friend is right in the middle of planning her wedding (in which I am the maid of honor) and my responsibility is to be her supportive friend. We were talking (well she was talking and I was kinda-sorta-not really-listening) about the stuff she has finished compared to what she has left to do. She made the comment that they still have to do the ceremony, pick the DJ and a few other things. I asked about their vows-are they going traditional or writing their own? She non-chalantly told me that "they hadn't talked about anything in the ceremony yet and that they would get to that stuff eventually." Is it me or is that totally messed up? I get that receptions and stuff take time to plan, but shouldn't your ceremony be the top priority? It's the most important part yet it tends to fall to the bottom of the list of important details. Maybe I'm being overly sensitive about this (feel free to tell me that below-I can handle it) but an actual "wedding" itself is really inexpensive. It's all the crap that people buy into as "requirements" that's insanely expensive and completely unnecessary. That is all for today, I just had to ramble on about this once again. Girlfriend has already heard my very loud version of this rant and would rather not hear it again, so for the sake of our relationship I brought my judgement here :-)

P.S. In case you didn't figure out the title-it's out of order. Like wedding priorities.

Kid-isms

Another student quote that you just can't make up....

Location-Car circle

People-kindergarden boy and me

Me: Where's your sister today?

Kindergartner: She's at home. She still has her ear infucktion.

Me: I'm sorry, what?

Kindergartner: An ear infucktion. It makes her ear hurts real bad.

Me: (trying to control laughter) Oh no! Well tell her I hope she feels better soon!

Now you KNOW that kid has said "ear infucktion" several times today. You better believe I repeated the story to any and every staff member that would listen. :-)

Things that suck and why

I'm done saying I'm sorry for the month of February. I've maxed out my quota of those words and to go along with the "Negative Nancy" kind of day I've had I've made a list (because that's how I roll) of things that suck and why. Feel free to add to it in the comment section.

Things that suck and why:

1) Getting water in your shoe. As soon as 1 itty-bitty droplet of water gets in there it's Squeaksville for you all day.

2) Dropping a lollipop on the floor. The 5 second rule cannot save your delicious treat.

3) Burning cookies in the oven. Smell of cookies baking is awesome and dissipates in.05 seconds. Smell of burnt cookies lingers forever in your home.

4) Forecasting snow and ice. I thought the earth was melting or something like that? Everything around me is f*cking frozen.

5) Paper cuts. How can something so tiny and not bleeding hurt so G-D much?

6) Forgetting passwords. No, the "clue" is not helpful either thank-you-very-much.

7) Shaving in winter. Thanks chilly breeze, I just wasted 15 minutes of my life for nothing.

8) The aftermath of crying. You'll still have those bloodshot eyes and puffy face two hours later.

9) People saying, "Bless You" before you sneeze. You think you're soooooo funny don't you? Just wait....

F*cking A!

Guess what? Schools are closed again. Ugh, I am SOOOOOOOOO over this bullsh*t. The superintendent (a.k.a. Mister Boss Man) originally had it as a delayed opening last night and then at 6:45 I got a call saying it was closed for students, optional work day for teachers. Those of you who may not know, "optional" means work or take a day without pay. Seriously. It's not safe for parents to drive their children, it's not safe for busses, but it's good enough for me to come in or loose a day of pay. That is entirely different rant for a different day.

At around 7:30 I get another phone call from my principal (a.k.a. Boss Lady) I am not a fan of her and let's just leave it at that. HER message went something like this, "Teachers do not come in today. The roads are way to bad around school. My car has four wheel drive and I couldn't make it down our school road, so please stay home. I will do something to help you all make up the time, but please do not risk coming today."

Now, Mister Boss Man said we were supposed to go to work, but Boss Lady said no. I felt like a kid who wasn't sure which parent to listen and like I was going to get into trouble somehow from someone. Last night I went to the grocery store and got more baking supplies to surprise Girlfriend with white chocolate chip cookies (her second favorite to peanut butter) and today I am going some more cleaning because Girlfriend's dad is coming on Sunday to my house for the first time and my home needs to make a good impression. B is NOT helping and he has been banned from the backyard after his bath, at least until Sunday afternoon.

On a positive note we are going to the Brandi Carlile concert in 6 days! AND we are seeing Wicked in 84 days for our joint birthday presents to each other. 84 days, but who's counting? Here's hoping the weather is better wherever you are!

Seriously?

Girlfriend and I were at Lowes food getting dinner supplies when we came across this lovely sign. Seriously, who the hell is in charge of the spell check at Lowes? Apparently no one. It gets worse people...the parmesan cheese says, "Tradtional style" leaving me concerned about the future of our country.

Just wondering

Why is it that when you go to the doctor and get a shot it leaves no lasting mark but the band-aid you have to rip off leaves red battle wounds for days?!?! Where do doctors get these ridiculous industrial glue band-aids and why can't they just use normal ones like we get at the store. You know, ones that stick but also come off without taking off the top two layers of skin? That is all, carry on.

Join Club Inappropriate

WOW! I didn't realize it had been so long since I posted-sorry y'all! Here is a picture from Girlfriend's breakfast Friday morning. Let's just say that we spent a LOT of time giggling like eight year old boys...no one should be surprised :-)

I mean really, who approves this to put on packaging for children?!?!

Crazy Sheltered Lady

I was taking B for his usual walk today after work and while we were across the street I hear this woman calling his name frantically. I was trying to figure out who she was, and what was wrong because clearly she knew my dog. When I turned around I saw the teeny-tiniest long hair Chihuahua running after me and B. Seeing that she was never going to catch her little dog I turned B around and we headed toward her, trying to coax her little non-dog-dog back home. When we met up she was still yelling, "B come here!" and that's when I realized that both of our dogs have the same name. Not only do they have the same name, but they are also both white dogs with brown spots. This woman was just tickled by this and here is a part of our conversation that followed.

Me: He's about three years old. I'm not exactly sure since I got him from the shelter.

Lady: You got him at the shelter?!?!

Me: Yup. He was my birthday present to myself.

Lady: WOW! I didn't know they had cute dogs at the shelter!

Me: (silent pause) Uh, yep they sure do. There were lots of cute dogs there, cats too.

Seriously. WTF. How do you respond to that? She didn't know the shelter has cute dogs? What kind of world does she live in? At this moment I realized she and I would never be friends because she was just plain loopy. She must live a very sheltered life (pun intended) and this concerned me for the sake of people and animals everywhere. On the bright side, she gave me a fun post for the evening!

Doing what we do best!

Today I did what we lesbians do best...no not that-get your dirty minds out of the gutter...I took care of business and built shelves for my classroom. I needed them to be low to the ground, "indestructable" and most importantly cheap. Very cheap. I think it worked out pretty well, now I just need to decide if I need another one on top for more books. I also think that I might need to seal the cinderblocks so they don't make a mess all year and possibly paint them to add more color to the room. Most teachers theme their classrooms but not me. That's too much freaking work and I get bored easily, but today I was told by a co-worker that my indirect "theme" is colorful...enough said.

The best part of today was the trip to Lowes to buy the plywood and cinderblocks. I have a little car and needed the 10 foot piece of wood cut so it would fit. This young man whose eyes screamed, "I-can't-believe-they-are-going-to-let-me-use-the-big-saw" had some shall we say issues with my directions. Here is the conversation that followed:

Excited young man: How can I help you ma'am?

Me: I need this cut down into four foot pieces.

Excited young man: Ok, great!

He got out his little tape measure and measured, and measured....and measured. I got concerned after he started scratching his head and avoiding eye contact. I could tell he had a question and was trying to figure out the answer on his own. Finally, after several awkward minutes he gave in.

Excited young man: Um, so you want four foot pieces?

Me: Yes.

Excited young man: ......ok, um, no problem.

Me: (putting him out of his misery) I need two four foot pieces. The extra two feet at the end are going to be scraps.

Seriously. He was trying to figure out how to take a 10 foot board and cut it into equal four foot pieces. I'm concerned about the future, because THEY LET HIM WORK THE SAW. Did I mention he was unsupervised. Seriously. I felt like I should be apologizing for the educational system letting this poor kid down. He cut the pieces and handed them to me all excited that he did a job well done. I left trying not to shake my head because he had just given me a great post. As my mom says, you just can't make this shit up people, you just can't.

Discovery on the interstate

After driving 10+ hours in constant traffic I feel an expert in deciding what kind of driver you are based on your vehicle. Here is a chart for your viewing pleasure. Thoughts? Comments? Opinions? You know where to leave them!

Pronouns, People and Perspective

All this week I am blogging as a member of Bloggers for Truth and sharing about my life, struggles, and how hate has affected me personally simply based upon my sexual orientation. Today's topic is labeled pronouns, people and perspective...can you guess where this is going?

By a show of hands, who has played the pronoun game? I'd venture to guess that if you are reading this as a member of the LGBT community you just raised your hand (or at least did in your mind if you are a weenie). If you aren't a member of the LGBT community you have probably been on the receiving end of the pronoun game whether you realized it or not. We all do it-we adjust pronouns to "they", "them", "they'll" and other various ways of not saying "he" or "she" as to leave out the gender of the person we are with or instead of using their name. Side note-how many of us only do this when our partners don't have "gender-neutral" names? I just realized that if they have a "gender-neutral" name like Chris, Jamie, Sam, etc. I use their name...just not the full version. Let me know in the comment section about what you do...I'm curious.

Anyway, why do we do this? Fear. Fear of being rejected, judged, chastised, condemned or fired. We play the game with our families, acquaintances, co-workers and even sometimes friends. We decide that people aren't ready for the truth, aren't capable of understanding, aren't willing to be accepting of us for who we are if we are honest with them. We do it to "protect" ourselves, "protect" the people we love, and "protect" those we are talking to. If we are honest with ourselves, how many times do we really need to do this for protection, and how many times is it out of being a coward? When we make a big deal out of the pronoun game, we are teaching society that there is something wrong with us. Please don't misinterpret what I write-there are times and places to play the pronoun game-when your job, security, and safety are at stake...but I'd venture to say that many of us play the game when it's not necessary, just more comfortable.

I admit that I play the pronoun game at work and am not ashamed of it. I hear the homophobic comments from co-workers, the jokes, etc. and just don't want any part of it. Sometimes I say something about it being inappropriate, but I'm not putting myself on the chopping block by telling them that I'm a big gay. I work with some homophobic people and can be fired, even though I kick-ass at my job, if they push for it. I also work with some awesome people who are "down with the gays," have more than 2 brain cells and figured it out from conversations and my facebook page. Other than work, I refuse to play the game. It takes too much work and is not worth it. If someone doesn't like that I date women, then I don't really care-their approval is not required for my happiness.

I challenge you to be uncomfortable, be honest, and be yourself-the uncomfortable will change to comfortable as you stop over thinking all the time. Use gender-specific pronouns, give people credit, and change your perspective as to how they will react. Sometimes they surprise you...but sometimes they don't.

Disappointed by society

I had another post I was planning to write, but after everything that has happened today I felt the need to write something else, and save what I was planning for tomorrow. Society has failed today on several levels and I'm in a rather foul mood.

Fail # 1: Money stolen at work.

Correction, a lot of money stolen at work. What makes it even worse, it that they stole from the kids. Second grade students brought in four dollars each to pay for an ice cream party and craft supplies. The money was put in two different drawers and only the classroom teachers knew who had it. They took the cash, left a check and the envelope. Kindergarten students brought in up to six dollars for Chick-Fil-A and craft supplies. Their money was hidden in a drawer, under paperwork, behind a box. The library money was stolen from a hidden cash box in the back of a cabinet. In all, four classrooms were broken into and money we had collected for end of year parties has all been taken-checks left behind. It was absolutely heartbreaking this morning. What are we going to tell the kids? How are we going to pay for everything? I don't know which is worse-if it was all stolen by a kid or one of the night custodians. It's a no-win situation and we have no idea how we are going to pay for everything. The students at our school do not come from affluent neighborhoods and over half of the school is on free/reduced lunch. Many of our parents have saved up in order to be able to send in the four dollar. We can't ask the parents to send in money again, I can't afford to pay for all of my students because the state government took back 5% of our paychecks this month (which is another rant for another day), and we are utterly screwed. School was consumed by an emotional dark cloud today and the stormy weather outside was an appropriate view for how we were all feeling.

Fail #2-California upholding the ruling on Prop. 8

As if having someone steal the money for parties wasn't bad enough, coming home and reading online that California has failed us all did not help. I do not live in California. I am not married. It still affects me. I do however live in the only state in the south that hasn't passed an anti-LGBT, anti-marriage constitutional amendment despite repeated attempts. As Prop. 8 has been unfolding my state has again been in the battle as to sign/or not sign an amendment. It's bad enough that we have to constantly fight for rights, it's an entirely different story when rights are given and then taken away. For those of you who are in committed relationships, I urge you to protect yourselves and the ones you love. State approval is not required, but some serious work is. There is a website (and book) called The Gay Marriage Alternative that gives a lot of information on how to create the same (if not more) rights than selective state-approved gay marriages. [stepping on my soapbox] Does it suck that California failed us? Yes. Does it mean we get all pissed, say it's not fair and demand people explain how who I love threatens them? Yes. Do we sit back and wait for state and federal laws to catch up with common sense? No. It's time our community educates and protects themselves, rather than sit back and wait for legislation to pass. Sorry if this post has become preachy, but it kills me when our community suddenly lets society dictate our lives. Do I believe that one day there will not be "regular marriage" and "gay marriage" but just "marriage" in the United States? Yes. One day. However we as a community have created our own lives, our own rules, our own structures of what a family is based upon being true to ourselves. Don't let politics stop us just because they control titles-we have ways of getting around the system. And really, isn't that what we've been doing to live our lives authentically? [stepping down...at least temporarily]