Surprisingly Shocked

Ok, I know that my blogger name is The Surprise Dyke (or TSD to my people) so nothing about this story should shock me or you...but it did...so I must share.

On Saturday night I went to a surprise party for one of my friends (we will call her Birthday Girl).  She had told her girlfriend in a random conversation that she never went to her prom, so we threw her a prom complete with everyone being dressed up, her high school mascot on a sign, a picture taking area (complete with a backdrop, camera on a tripod and decorations), music from the year she graduated, etc.  It was super fun, super gay and super hilarious.

I decided that since I always wore a dress to proms that I went to, that I would wear a suit.  I even bought a new tie for the occasion.  I starched and ironed a white dress shirt, shined my shoes, flat ironed my hair, did my makeup, etc.  I was dressed to the nine people, to the nine.

At the party I met some people who are "family" that I have never met before who live in our little community.  I bonded with the butch one (we will call her K) while we moved cars down the street, hung decorations and re-tied ties for others who needed them fixed.  Half-Windsor anyone?  Four-in-Hand?

After the party we all changed (because I was NOT wearing a suit and tie out and neither was anyone else) went out to the gay bar and continued to party there until early in the morning.  Apparently at the bar K went up to Birthday Girl and asked her, "Is she gay?"  To which Birthday Girl could not stop laughing and replied, "Has she talked yet?  Don't let the hair and makeup fool you, she totally butch."  I don't necessarily agree, but if labeling me makes you comfortable go for it.

Later on K and I were talking about her girlfriends kid, buying houses, etc. and I mentioned my roommate.  Here is the conversation that followed:

K: Oh, how long have you lived together?

Me: About six years, we lived together in the dorms for two years and then moved to a townhouse with another girl who moved away, then I bought a house and she moved with me.

K: (pointing to my ring) Are you two married? 

Me: (realizing the misunderstanding) OH GOD NO!  She's straight and like a sister.  (shutter) That's gross.  No, there is nothing going on there, never has, never will.

K: Wait.  You live with a straight girl?

Me: Yup.

K: Birthday Girl!  It's because she lives with a straight girl, that's why I couldn't tell!

Me: (utterly confused) Um...ok.

Really?  I wore a suit a tie to the party, helped you move cars, am at the gay bar and you don't know I'm gay?  I guess living with a straight girl is like a gay invisibility cloak.  The gays can't see me because I act/look too straight-whatever that means.  I told my roommate and she didn't get it either.  I wanted to post this earlier in the week but I was (and am) still trying to wrap my brain around it.  Maybe you all can help if you have ever been the K in a situation like this one.

To E or not to E...that is the question

The school where I work has a marquis outside like most schools do.  We post the same message on both sides so parents can see the same information regardless of how they drive to school.

Here was our sign...

If you saw the difference you are better than ALL of the employees at our school.  For almost a week, YES A WEEK this has been on our marquis.  Not only did no staff members catch it (until today) but no parents called either.  

This brings up several questions that need to be answered:

1) Does anyone actually read at the marquis?

2) What the hell were the parents thinking when they read Friday is Hate Day?

3) Who the f*ck works at out school and doesn't know to spell the same thing twice???  They are f*cking CVC and CVCe words...not difficult people, not difficult.

4) Does someone at our school have a sick sense of humor?  If so, who are they and why am I not friends with them?

It's not funny.  Really it's not.  It's hilarious.  I could not stop laughing inappropriately all day today...come on...an elementary school with a major error on the sign and NO ONE noticed. Not one of the 75+ staff members, not one parent of our 600+ students, not one person who came to visit...yup, still funny.  When a co-worker noticed it today here was her message to the office (equally funny as I heard her on the intercom next door.)

Coworker-Hi, this is Miss ______....I was wondering about the sign outside.

Office-Um ok.  What about it?

Co-worker: Did you know it says Friday is hate day?

Office: Yes, Friday is hat day.

Co-worker: Right, but the left side says Friday is HATE day, not HAT day.  Is that an error or did I miss a memo?

Office: (silence) We will get back to you.

[Seriously, they had to get back to her...f*cking hilarious/scary.]

Office: (laughing) Oops.  No, it's not hate day, just hat day.  But you can hate us for letting them wear hats all day.  We're changing it right now.

Co-worker: Alright, thanks!

Happy Weekend to Me

I know it's not the weekend, but my weekend was so awesome that I don't mind reliving it for your reading pleasure. Now before you get your hopes up, no...this is not some late sappy Valentine's Day post. It's a I-had-a-nothing-out-of-the-ordinary-but-still-awesome-weekend-post complete with pictures.

It started on Saturday when I got to sleep in (Woot!Woot!) and my head found the perfect, and I mean PERFECT spot in the pillow. It was so amazing that for once, I didn't make my bed in the hopes that my head would be able to re-find the spot (no such luck).

Can you see the head divot? Yes, I really took a picture to remember the perfect pillow shape/spot.

It then continued when I bought myself flowers. No reason in particular, I like flowers and these spoke to me. Not in a crazy the-flowers-have-voices kind of way, they spoke to my soul.

I dig them. Hopefully you can see why they spoke to my soul too.

On Sunday I made my favorite breakfast. Pancakes. Not just any pancakes, chocolate chip pancakes. I made them from scratch and they were even more delicious than they look.

Here's hoping the rest of the week is as great as my weekend...obviously it has a lot to live up to. Happy Monday y'all!