Doing what we do best!

Today I did what we lesbians do best...no not that-get your dirty minds out of the gutter...I took care of business and built shelves for my classroom. I needed them to be low to the ground, "indestructable" and most importantly cheap. Very cheap. I think it worked out pretty well, now I just need to decide if I need another one on top for more books. I also think that I might need to seal the cinderblocks so they don't make a mess all year and possibly paint them to add more color to the room. Most teachers theme their classrooms but not me. That's too much freaking work and I get bored easily, but today I was told by a co-worker that my indirect "theme" is colorful...enough said.

The best part of today was the trip to Lowes to buy the plywood and cinderblocks. I have a little car and needed the 10 foot piece of wood cut so it would fit. This young man whose eyes screamed, "I-can't-believe-they-are-going-to-let-me-use-the-big-saw" had some shall we say issues with my directions. Here is the conversation that followed:

Excited young man: How can I help you ma'am?

Me: I need this cut down into four foot pieces.

Excited young man: Ok, great!

He got out his little tape measure and measured, and measured....and measured. I got concerned after he started scratching his head and avoiding eye contact. I could tell he had a question and was trying to figure out the answer on his own. Finally, after several awkward minutes he gave in.

Excited young man: Um, so you want four foot pieces?

Me: Yes.

Excited young man: ......ok, um, no problem.

Me: (putting him out of his misery) I need two four foot pieces. The extra two feet at the end are going to be scraps.

Seriously. He was trying to figure out how to take a 10 foot board and cut it into equal four foot pieces. I'm concerned about the future, because THEY LET HIM WORK THE SAW. Did I mention he was unsupervised. Seriously. I felt like I should be apologizing for the educational system letting this poor kid down. He cut the pieces and handed them to me all excited that he did a job well done. I left trying not to shake my head because he had just given me a great post. As my mom says, you just can't make this shit up people, you just can't.

Like singing in the shower or car

I was trying to figure out how to eloquently put into words news that I'm excited to share, but all I could come up with were story examples-so I'm going to trust my gut and hope this makes sense. I sing in the shower. I sing in my car. I mean I REALLY sing in my car...as long as it's just me and sometimes B. After years of singing in competition groups when I was in school I'm able to hold my own, but don't ever think I'm going to take a mic and sing a solo for a crowd. I sing for me, for my dog (don't judge me), my friend's little children, but mostly for me because I like to. I belt it out when I am alone, but when others are around I tone it down for them because I love them and their ears.

Now imagine sitting in your car alone, belting it out when (insert whatever singer you love) drives up next to you at a stoplight. You don't notice because you are wrapped up in belting out the chorus, and then all of a sudden they comment, "Hey I like your singing. Want to come sing at my concert?" Don't even lie, you'd crap your pants right then and there. That's what I was feeling like the other day. Okay, in case you are totally lost as to where I am going with this here is my thought train pulling into the station for a connection.

We have already established that I write my little blog for me, and those of you who are interested are welcome to come along on the ride, but ultimately it's my outlet because therapy is too expensive and I am poor. Like all bloggers I have those sites that I look at as way out of my league and I could only hope to be like someday in the future. Well readers, I about crapped my pants when Grace the Spot contacted me because they like what I do over here. Seriously. My little blog feels like singing in the shower or car-and Grace the Spot is like a rock star that overheard me belting it out slightly off tune. As I have more details you know I'll be sharing it with you, because honestly there is no where/one else I can share it with-and would fully appreciate it. I'm left with a "holy crap" expression on my face and a short typed list of things I can write about over there.

Again in conclusion: Holy Crap.

Pride Quotes and Stories

Quotes from Girlfriend for your reading pleasure. Welcome to my world people, it's awesome..

In Pride Color Order...because that seems appropriate:

Red-When I told her what time we had to be there, "11 AM, that's too early for the gays"

Orange-While riding in the car in total silcence "This one time, on Golden Girls..."

Yellow-When getting back into the car after taking a potty break "It's too hot for a baby."

Green-While sitting on a bench at pride people watching "Wow. Someone lucked out in that relationship."

Blue-After walking around in 90+ degree heat "Would it be inappropriate to use a tampon to dry off my face. They're super plus."

Purple-As we were walking past a barricade that ended the pride area "NO! We're going out of the safe zone. Turn around!"

Do you ever have a moment when you hear yourself talking, and you know you need to shut up, and while your brain is telling you SHUT UP, your mouth decides otherwise? SHOCKER that that happened to me. My friend S had looked online and saw that it started at 11, which to us meant that the parade was at 11. Well we get there and there is no parade (we will come back to this in a moment) and S is running almost 2 hours late. When Girlfriend asked where she was since it was all her idea, I responded with, "S runs on her own time. She makes you look like you get to places early." I KNOW. I KNOW. As I was talking I could hear myself in my head saying, SHUT UP but I also thought it was funny. It didn't deliver funny. It delivered in a jackassery way that required some backpedaling to get myself out of trouble. The best part was that there were two police officers nearby and when we walked by one of them chuckled and said to me, "Nice save." That was awsome :-)

Now back to the no parade thing. WTF. What the hell is pride without a parade? I mean, we do a parade really well. As girlfriend pointed out, we even have a marching band just for this kind of occasion. Everything about a parade is gay-from the glitter, to the streamers, to the choreographed dancing in the streets...I was highly disappointed. We will be attending the Durham Pride this September where there IS a parade, and it's awesome.

Have a great rest of your weekend, I've gotta get going because Girlfriend doesn't know I blog and here she comes!